Comments on : By ShINe BrIgHt

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OMG WHAAAAT. OKAY. This is really good, quite a masterpiece, for the most part it had me on the edge of my seat. There were all kinds of real genuine powerful emotions and depth in this. It was mature and steady, a strong current ran through the story pulling me through each page. The concept and the themes are very unique. I'm not sure if you were inspired by something else but to me, I haven't read many stories like this one. There is the evil twin archetype but the way you've set it up kind of felt fresh to me. Everything felt really real. At points I felt so bad for the character I wanted to tear up. However, I was frustrated as well, which can be a good thing, but the character is innately very strong. It doesn't entirely make logical sense for her to be so submissive to her sister. No matter how evil someone could be, she shouldn't have ever given in. It wasn't like the sister had any real power over her. The only reason would be her own guilt or sort of noble heart, that she could let her sister live a better life or something because she was sick. Still, that would make the narrator an unattractive character because it's frustrating for the reader. I feel inclined to call her masochistic. Once I consider her as a masochist, then I am able to accept her nature and personality. Personally, I am more of a fighter type of person so it was hard fo rme to understand how she could put up with these things, while being innately strong. To analyze this further, Luna is strong inside, but she made a conscious decision to be submissive and in a twisted way makes her feel better. This qualifies her as a masochistic type character. When I consider the character in such a way, it is quite interesting and complex. Abusive relationships exist and people aren't able to get out so easily, so I also enjoyed how you are dealing with this through the story. I'd like to offer a warning however, there's that Oliver guy and the Dark Mist guy. The latter appeared first but almost right away you introduce Oliver, which seemed a bit too abrupt and random. Especially as Oliver had been away for six years. It felt like you were trying to rush and introduce male characters and some sort of love relationship too soon. I'd say be careful, because such relationships might take away from your already strong core of the story which is the abusive sibling relationship and the warping of her personality and her life, in order to suit sunshine's wishes. That is a very dominant concept already, so trying to do too much might take away from it. It would be interesting to have more characters to guide her story along and eventually i don't know, if you will release her from her sister's clutch, but be careful with it, take your time, maintain a steady pace, let things develop in due time. Let the main core, which is the twin sister relationship, be the most prominent force. the others should be peripheral catalysts. But yep! I also know English isn't your mother tongue or whatnot, so I won't focus on the language mistakes. Anyway, it's a very powerful story in itself. Extremely addicting and thrilling and engages me emotionally. Keep up the good work.
By: TAKATSU  TAKATSU is a Textnovel supporter  on Thu, 06 March 2014 15:45:20
 
OMG-fantastic xD Love this CPN too, continue to update and stuff- I love stories about twins. :3
By: Ayane Nanami on Thu, 06 March 2014 13:40:04
 
Here’s my feedback~ A story about twins is always a good genre to start off. The feelings of living with another who looks exactly like you but a huge difference in social life. Even it’s always the same thing but you managed to bring out the story with your own style. Good versus evil is the best option to bring up the mood on reading the story. Grammar errors… :D Try to avoid them though… And of course, great work on choosing the right forms to write this CPN. I love it! <3
By: CCshoelaces on Wed, 26 February 2014 05:05:46
 
What I've realized when I first read this story is the writing style. Very straight to the point, but it still managed to attract the readers. The plot might be a little cliche (twins, one is bad and one is good) but this is a great story so far. Besides some grammar errors (don't worry, I make them too ^^;;) this CPN was very interesting to read! :D
By: egutan on Tue, 25 February 2014 05:50:42
 
Wah, I cannot help but to hate Sunshine!

Oh, wanna know who the Shadow is!
Can't help but to think that this is gonna be some love triangle involving both twins, Shadow and even Oliver?

Damn the bitch, just stand up for yourself and Jimmy already, will ya Luna!?!

Love the story, keep going!

~Ergelina~
By: ergelina on Tue, 11 February 2014 18:42:37
 
This story captivated me from the very start. The way it is narrated draws the reader in. It is just like a magnet, attracting you, making you want to know more.

The main theme, family and siblings love is not quite easy to capture, but you have done well. You have followed a simple plotline, yet you have never ceased to surprise me. Your writing style is delicate (I'm excluding the grammar and spelling errors) and easy to follow. It's sweet like honey.

Also interesting was how you used the antithesis to enhance the difference of how the twins were perceived and to prove right once again the saying which states that "apparences are deceiving".

Good work! Update soon. :D
By: Hirondelle on Tue, 11 February 2014 16:33:41
 
Thanks cherry blossom..I am trying my best to update quickl asap.
By: ShINe BrIgHt on Sun, 19 January 2014 15:12:35
 
Please update. I can't anymore~
it's such an amazing story.
This is the first time I read it and I was totally absorbed in it.
By: cherry blossom on Sun, 19 January 2014 09:48:06
 
thanks thanks thanks thanks......"Topu masum"
By: ShINe BrIgHt on Thu, 08 August 2013 08:57:11
 
wow wow wow. wow!
By: Topu Masum on Thu, 08 August 2013 03:49:39
 
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