“Sure, but originally I stopped him in connection with the theft of a jewel, from a store on the second floor. Only, there's no jewel.”

The frown deepened, therefore I redoubled my cheer efforts. “In that case, why did he prove so keen to get away?” I stared at the villain with no dress sense. “What if the way that you bumped into the woman you took hostage was no accident?” He broke eye contact. Hmmm.

“Go on,” prompted the cop.

“What if the whole hostage deal was a red herring? Because the jewel had already been hidden? In the john, for instance?” The man with no taste made to say something, but then thought better of it.

“Thanks lady.” The cop, no doubt already promoted to detective in his imagination, hauled the guy back along the route to the second floor.

When the crowd moved away I carefully kicked over the glass on the ground and retrieved the jewel. I'll sell it and, yes, a fair bit will go to the community projects that I grace, just as soon as I've bought the new cheer outfit that I've earned with for all my hard work, together with the new cheerleading equipment I need at home. Plus make-up and probably a holiday.

The cop would've found it, which the guy (eventually) realised, so really I saved him with that trash about hiding it in the john. Did I run after him because he's a potential Hottie, who can benefit from my expert guidance on the clothing front? Yeah, and now I've been given a chance to save him once again.

Because when I tell him that I rescued him by tricking the cop, he is going to absolutely thank me and dump whatever unhelpful excuse for a girlfriend he's currently got. I sure can think on my feet, can't I? Some of us are born to play the piano and some of us are born to push it.

Anyways, talking of which, I didn't really hide the pipe in Ciressa's dreadful footwear. As if I'd even go near those things, let alone touch them. If she wasn't so dozy all day long she'd have thought of checking her shoes there and then. Sleepy-head only needed a shock for that gross theme party of hers, so mission accomplished I think. Lick the cheerleading mat, freak of freaks.

Now the Mall Guy's sneaked into my room, so I'd better finish off soon. He's obviously seen my sweet reason regarding the girlfriend. I've got some wine that I've kept concealed and we've crept up the stairs to the roof. We're so-o-o on the edge.

“That's a very nice jean shirt,” I told him, preparing him gently for the truth regarding everything else he wore. “However, about that neckerchief. It's more than threadbare, and that shade of less than desirable purple...” Panic gripped me. He made to grip me. A shard of glass appeared in his hand once more.

“So, you did recognise it from my not so stupid, not at all murderous girlfriend Ciressa's party,” he teased.

I pushed him to his death in next door's disgracefully messy garden. Perhaps they might take this opportunity I've given them to clean it for once. Next we'll see if the opportunity I've given the cheerleading team is taken as well. Spreading a little cheer to those less fortunate, that's my duty in life.

Gotta jet! See ya!!!

The End