GPS for dummies
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Chapter 1:- he said/ she said
Anyone have one? They even come with voices. A friend told me her friend has one and it comes with a nice calm female voice to give directions. If you should decide to take an alternative route she will simply re arrange your route in that same calm demeanour.
Let’s call her Tina
Female gps: Oh I see you have decided to take another route to your destination. We don’t mind people thinking out of the box—let me take a minute to recalculate the directions. There you go—now turn left at the lights? Oh you’ve decided to go straight after all—just as well there was a detour the other way . Now turn right Right not left—turn right again and another right, right again here. What do you mean there’s no road? Okay I am kinda tired now I need to rest. Call me only if you really need me.
The male one could sound this.—This is George
Male gps: Okay it’s obvious that you can’t find your way out of a paperback that’s why you have me. Strap yourself in; cops are brutal in these parts. If you get a ticket for that U turn you just took, don’t come crying to Me.; I am not paying it!
If you insist on driving like a sissy I will recommend on star.
I said left not right! Wrong, DUMB ASS—GO BACK!
You’re not listening. Did anyone tell you, you drive like a girl?—WAIT, YOU ARE ONE!
Lost again I see –did you lose your way out of the birth canal? If you are not going to follow directions I am not going to waste my breath. Oh it’s like that is it well fine good night. Don’t call us we’ll call you. MORON!
