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Happy Pills
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Chapter 29:- Lungs
I don't completely understand myself, but I think I get what I mean, partly. I want to live the life I want to, which is; my friends, my family and my book. Those three things make me who I am and complete the whole mystery of 'what is life about?' Life is about goals, dreams. It is about living to your fullest, until your lungs explode in a sudden lack of air, only because you thought that it would be interesting to see how long you could go without breathing. Apparently, not too long.
My lungs are overfilled with air, tick yet very light. Everyday, that air's smell changes. Sometimes it smells flowers, sometimes it reminds me of very old times, and sometimes it smells of blood and death, end. All the time, that air changes. It constantly does, never ever staying the same as before, always something new, fresh, yet again, old. As a deja vu.
I love the current air that is floating in and out my lungs, my throat and my mouth. It is sweet like sugar and I can literally taste it on my lips. Inside, it is heavy, foggy, but, strangely, it is easier to breathe that way.
My body is content why how things are, right now. It doesn't see, doesn't want anything to change. Nothing at all. And so do I.
But, I still want him by my side and that feeling truly bothers me.
Sarah Tarleton Colvin once said that 'Unfulfilled desires are dangerous forces.'.
That is true. They are dangerous, barbaric, sadistic and impartial forces.
I don't completely understand myself, but I think I get what I mean, partly. I want to live the life I want to, which is; my friends, my family and my book. Those three things make me who I am and complete the whole mystery of 'what is life about?' Life is about goals, dreams. It is about living to your fullest, until your lungs explode in a sudden lack of air, only because you thought that it would be interesting to see how long you could go without breathing. Apparently, not too long.
My lungs are overfilled with air, tick yet very light. Everyday, that air's smell changes. Sometimes it smells flowers, sometimes it reminds me of very old times, and sometimes it smells of blood and death, end. All the time, that air changes. It constantly does, never ever staying the same as before, always something new, fresh, yet again, old. As a deja vu.
I love the current air that is floating in and out my lungs, my throat and my mouth. It is sweet like sugar and I can literally taste it on my lips. Inside, it is heavy, foggy, but, strangely, it is easier to breathe that way.
My body is content why how things are, right now. It doesn't see, doesn't want anything to change. Nothing at all. And so do I.
But, I still want him by my side and that feeling truly bothers me.
Sarah Tarleton Colvin once said that 'Unfulfilled desires are dangerous forces.'.
That is true. They are dangerous, barbaric, sadistic and impartial forces.
