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Happy Pills
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Chapter 99:- Goodbye V
I looked down at my pale legs and placed the blade against my skin.
Without closing my eyes, without clenching my jaw or teeth, I pushed. Extremely slowly--precisely--and without loosing my grip on the holder, I moved.
I loudly exhaled and watched in awe as blood came out of the freshly made wound. I remembered now why I used to be addicted to doing this; it felt good. In moments like these, it helped me forget--temporary--about the emotional pain in my heart.
And then I could go through the night.
I lifted the cutter and touched the blood with my free hand, it was cold against my warm skin. I brought it up to my lips and sucked on the tip of my finger. Sugary.
I frowned, I wasn't satisfied.
My heartbeat accelerated and I made a second cut before any rational thoughts could stop me.
Same feeling.
Same disgrace.
Same shame.
Same pleasure.
Same deliverance.
I started to breathe...
I looked down at my pale legs and placed the blade against my skin.
Without closing my eyes, without clenching my jaw or teeth, I pushed. Extremely slowly--precisely--and without loosing my grip on the holder, I moved.
I loudly exhaled and watched in awe as blood came out of the freshly made wound. I remembered now why I used to be addicted to doing this; it felt good. In moments like these, it helped me forget--temporary--about the emotional pain in my heart.
And then I could go through the night.
I lifted the cutter and touched the blood with my free hand, it was cold against my warm skin. I brought it up to my lips and sucked on the tip of my finger. Sugary.
I frowned, I wasn't satisfied.
My heartbeat accelerated and I made a second cut before any rational thoughts could stop me.
Same feeling.
Same disgrace.
Same shame.
Same pleasure.
Same deliverance.
I started to breathe...
