Hildegard von Bingen

(1098-1179)

            I, Hildegard von Bingen, was a remarkable woman and a “first” in many fields. I was alive in a time when few women wrote but I composed many works of theology and visionary writings. During the time when not many women were shown respect, I was consulted by and advised many popes, bishops, and even some kings! I was also the first author whose biography is actually known today!

Immediately following my birth in 1098 my parents dedicated me to God. You see, I was the tenth child in a noble family in Germany and it was customary to dedicate the tenth child to the church. My parents could not count on feeding 10 mouths and the outcome was me, being sent away at the age of eight! My parents just sent me away, just like that! I was shipped off to an anchoress named Jutta to have a religious education. An anchoress is an individual who is shut off from the outside world in the confinement of a small room. Even harsher than a convent the person inside would have nothing but a small window through which food would be sent in to tie them to the outside world. It sounded horrid. Since the anchors would not be heard of from the outside world they would even have a burial ceremony before they enter the “cell”! But the exception was my teacher, Jutta, for which there was a door that we entered through.  When I was only 14 Jutta, two others, and I were locked in anchor holds, but at some point those cells became an actual monastery!

In 1136 my great teacher, my dear Jutta, died. It was a terrible blow for she was like a mother to me, and had practically raised me since I was eight. Following her death I became the abbess for the monastery. Within a few years I told my confessor about my visions. I had had religious visions since I was 3 and I had

been hiding them because I realized having visions wasn’t actually normal. God had told me that I should write down all my visions and gave me an immediate understanding of religion. Once I had been given those instructions from God I began to write my first book of visions. Scivias is a book of 25 of my miraculous visions. And around the time I was writing Scivias I moved from my monastery in Disidodenburg to one near Bingen. Around 1158 I began to write my second visionary book, Liber vitae meritorum (Book of life's merits), and it was completed in 1163. It took me 13 years to go around Europe to men’s and women’s monasteries to collect the information (not including my visions sent from God) to write my book. Soon after I finished Liber vitae meritorum I began to write Liber divinorum operum (Book of the divine work), on the relationship of humans to God and to each other. Sadly, this was my last great work of art. I am proud of myself for completing it in only 10 years and I am happy to say Liber divinorum operum is known as the book that best represents my most mature thought! Although those pesky Americans have yet to translate it cover to cover they still recognize how great it is, and for that I am truly grateful.

My last years on Earth are not well known, the last record of me on this planet was in 1175 in a letter that I wrote assuring that I was continuing to write frequently. I died in 1179 but am still remembered to this day, but I have never felt that strong a tie to the earth itself. My life was devoted to God, as my parents had decided from birth. Funny how that worked out, isn’t it?

During my years on planet Earth my main attire was a habit, the main article of clothing for nuns. A habit is basically a long black dress that goes all the way to the top of a person’s head. On the head there is a hat-like white wimple. It covers the upper chest and neck then continues over the head. The wimple then hangs down almost like the ears of a beagle, but longer.

During my time on earth many things were going on all around the world! For example, the doomsday book was created a few years before my birth! It was made in 1086 by William the Conqueror himself! Though the doomsday book was very important during the time, the English had many accomplishments that have changed the course of history. During the reign of King Louis VII of France and Henry the II of England, Abbot Suger, Louis’ right-hand man, constructed the cathedral at Saint Denis. It was started in 1137 and was completed in 1144. That cathedral in Paris is the first ever Gothic church! While dear Abbot Suger was working on his great church in France there were many catastrophes in England. War in England had broken out from 1139-1148 and the result was Matilda Empress and Stephen fighting for the throne. Alas, Stephen won the title and Matilda was planning on how to take it back, and that she did several years later. Speaking of Matilda, her son was one of the most well known kings of English history! Henry II created the English common law and had 8 children with Eleanor of Aquitaine. Oh, how foolish that woman was, who needs caravans full of luxury items when you could just be devoted to God? Her Henry also had his long time friend Thomas Becket murdered in 1170. Although it backfired on Henry, poor Thomas was made a saint in 1173 and I can just imagine Henrys frustration! Henry did care about family though; he even invaded Ireland in 1171 just for his little son John “Lackland”.  But in the end it was his family that was his downfall; his sons rebelled against him and his dearest son John was at the heart of it. Exactly why earthly ties are not important! Henry being defeated by his own sons is one of the many reasons I am simply devoted to God! He is not complicated like those men on Earth!

My life was very prosperous and I learned so much. I might not have been a mighty queen or warrior but I believe I did more. I accelerated learning about religion all around Europe and saw past the jewels and luxury. I think that my best achievement of my lifetime was the years in my anchor hold where I could write in private and really connect with God. It was a very humbling experience, and I felt as if I was but an angel living among the humans. I was more connected with God than any being on earth. My years in the anchor hold were well spent and I saw life in a different way.

 During the early years of my lifetime, I was very frustrated with my parents. Although we were blood related I had no tie to them. I resented them and I was mad at them for sending me away. Obviously, when I was 8 years old I could not understand how great of an experience it would be. I cried so much that when I found out I would not live with my other brothers and sisters, I saw it as a punishment, but not as a learning experience. Of course it wasn’t my fault that my family could not feed me but why take it out on me? In heaven I must let go of all the resent and grudges but I still am hurt when I think of what my parents did to me. Of course, I am not talking about giving me a religious education but of sending me away to do it. I am ever so thankful that I got to have that special connection with God but I still feel as if my parents have no idea who I am. Even when I was first introduced to my Jutta I was bitter! I thought of the anchor hold as a prison and scary but now I see it in a new light. Those 12 years of bitterness to my parents and Jutta were probably the worst of my life. I know now that I should be nothing but thankful and I think my first 12 years were foolish and immature. What a brat I was!

I achieved lots in my lifetime, but of all the amazing things that I accomplished upon Earth, I think that the moment where I received that life changing vision from God was the most astounding. I had been having visions starting at age 3, but did not want to reveal it with all the witch rumors going around! I had no choice other than to keep it quiet. I suffered from severe migraines and sometimes tried to convince myself that those visions that marked me as crazy were just side effects. But that day, my life changed forever. I would not be the writer I am acknowledged as today without that “okay” from God. After that moment I became known for my religious writings and theology. It was the one moment that changed my life forever. 

My time upon Earth was remarkable. Technically, it was perfect, but I do believe that I lived it only halfway. In my lifetime I did not smile, laugh, or play very often, my life was devoted to God, as my parents had intended. I did not have much of a childhood and really didn’t have much of a life outside church walls. I realize this only now as I look down from heaven at the smiling children playing with friends, laughing, smiling, sharing moments that they will remember for eternity, and so much more that I never had. I had never had a first love, a best friend to share secrets with, even and enemy to stick my tongue out at. I always wonder what would have happened if I had been born into a different family, not devoted to the church. Would I be married? Have kids? Be happy? I regret nothing of my life; I made use of what I had and with sheer wits and knowledge made it into the pages of the little children’s history books. But I admit to wondering about what would have been.

 I am writing this to you from the clouds of heaven, smiling down on the little girls I see playing on God’s green Earth. I know I did the best I could, and I am truly proud of that. My story will forever be printed on the pages of your civilizations books, be remembered by historians, book writers, theology extraordinaires, and many more. And now my story shall be remembered by you, and for that I thank you.