[Spirituality, whether religious or non-religious, can be defined as your personality. If you have no personality, you are a robot. A robot does not have a broken heart; it just has a loose screw.]

 

My brain says, "I am lucky to have my lot in life".

My heart is broken and it says, "I have a lousy life".

 

This treatise is a 3 stage approach:

1. First Stage: Quickie thoughts and things to do. If they work, that's great. If not, go to the second stage.

2. Second Stage: These hints deal with more "in depth" attitudes. The purpose is for you to feel, "My brain and soul have convinced my heart that my life is not lousy".  If it doesn't work, go to the third stage.

3. Third Stage: Prepare yourself: Be ready when your broken heart fades.

 

Reminder: These hints are for both men and women. ... Although

written as "what to do about her", all these hints can be "what to do about him".

 

First Stage: A few notes, attitudes, and hints to mend a broken heart.

1.  It may be impossible;

a. Depending on your personality. (Mate for life syndrome.)

b. You may think it is impossible. (Self-fulfilling prophesy - Ch. 18)

c. You may not want to be healed. (Jesus' question to the blind man)

d. You are accustomed to a broken heart; you may be reluctant to change.

e. You may enjoy the pity associated with being "sick".

f. You may be addicted to "crying". - Addictions can be stronger than logic.

2.  It was my favorite coat, but it doesn't fit anymore.

3. Pain plus release equals gladness (closure).

4.  It was your favorite life, but don't try to "hang on". It no longer fits.

5. Move to a new city?

6. Meet new friends.

7. Rearrange furniture and trappings.

8. Your love for her could have been a "Gift" from God. Treat it as a gift; thank the giver.  .... Appreciate that it happened. Give the "gift" double value; pass it on to another person.  Don't belabor the point.

9.  Hypnosis.

10. Wait 3 years and then visit her. (Reality is never as good as your imagery of reality. The visit may "sober you up".)

11. When you are sick, ask yourself, "Which is more important; To be well or to reunite with her? 

                                                               

[We can not change the direction of the wind ... but we can adjust our  sails.]

 

 

12. One two punch:

a. Casually date someone whom you know will not "turn you on"; partner #1. Then, look for a new girlfriend; partner #2. 

b. Comparing partner #2 with partner #1 is much better than;

comparing partner #2 with your (wonderful?) ex-wife.

13. List her (your ex-wife) faults; especially her selfishness and "loyalty" to her friends and family.(Yuck!)

14. Get a lobotomy. (Maybe this will be possible in the future.)

15. Go on a starvation diet. Your mind will be on a Big Mac or hot fudge sundae.

16. Join or enroll in a new organization:

a. Join a fitness center.

b. Join the Army.

c. Enroll in a Fat Farm.

d. Join the French Foreign Legion.

e. Sign up for the Peace Corp.

 f. Enroll in an adult education class.

g. Volunteer at a charitable organization.

h. Join anything. Don't sit at home contemplating your problems.

(Being very physically tired, very busy, very hungry, or very helpful to needy people will distract you from being very self-centered.)

17. Never mention her name or say how you enjoyed her. The way to forget something is to stop talking about it.

18. Create mental pictures of:

a. Her warts; His toupee or poor mannerisms

b. Her cellulite; His fat belly

c. Her big/strong thighs; His scrawny legs

d. A side view of her/his double chin,

e. Her in white high heels; Him in high water pants

 f. Her without dentures; Him naked

g. Her sitting on the toilet, with her legs apart, her gut hanging down,

and her ugly toes pointing outward, while she is breaking up with you.

19 Dwell on what you have "going for you".

20. Start dating one of her friends. (This may be a bad idea, but it has worked.)

21. Learn a foreign language; work cross-word puzzles.

22. Learn a new sport or a new computer game.

23. Do not watch Romantic Movies or listen to love songs. ... They

will "rip your heart out."

24. Do not recall the nice times you had together; unless you are strong enough to consider your marriage as a movie. Appreciate the movie

and go on to reality.  (This still sounds like a bad idea.)

 

[Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. -- Abe Lincoln]

 

 

25. Do not ask yourself, why do I still love her?  This question has no answer; only tears on your pillow.

26. Do not beg her back or even (?) talk to her for the next 2 years.

27. Do not ask one of her friends, "How is she doing?"

28.  Do not say or think, "I wish I had tried one more time to make it work".

29. Do not "accidentally" see her for at least 2 years.

30. Do not think or say. "If I had only done this, this, and this, maybe things would be different." -- This one will drive you crazy.

31. Do not say, "she really did love me a lot". This is a guilt trip - untreatable.

32. Do not say, "What went wrong?"  This a great question, only when you no longer crave her (a moot point), and you want to improve your new relationship.

33. Do not say "my fault, her fault, or the children's fault".

34. Do not hate her.  ..........  Do not hate anyone.

35. Do not (automatically) see a psychiatrist or join a support group. (Some work, some don't. Some make it worse. - Live and learn.)

36. Get a pet. (Not a turtle; unless your name is Rocky, and Adrian is working at the local pet shop)

37. Count your money (if you are rich). -- Lousy idea?

38. Do not cry.  ... Crying is a signal to the world and to yourself that you need something.  .. When you cry about your broken heart, -- you are imprinting on your brain that you need your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.  If you cry often enough about anything, and especially about a broken heart, it will become addictive. ... Your RAS will become so sensitive and active that it will constantly look for reasons to break your heart.  Example; seeing other lovers holding hands will make you cry.

39. Count your blessings. (Compare yourself to someone sadder than you.)

40. List your priorities in life: God, Life after Death, health, financial security, friendships/love, and sex

41. Do not sadly say, "I really love her." or "I love her so much." or "I love her more than anything else in the world".  (Cupid does not like cry-babies.)  - Live and learn.

42.  Think of things (and people) you enjoyed before you met her/him.

43.  Seek support from family and friends.

44.  Surround yourself with people whose company you enjoy.

45.  Realize that your broken heart will require you to work harder to accomplish every task.

 

Try them. If they work, fine. Otherwise get serious and read on.

 

 

 

                                                            

[No matter how heavy something is, you can always make it weigh

more by tossing bricks on it. - Eryk Nielsen]

 

End of Chapter 1

 

Chapter 2: Stage 2