Chapter 9:- I'm a trustworthy person, just not a trustgiving person.
To me trust just goes with telling the truth. See- trust...truth...T.R.U...okay...nevermind. It's just to me, if I'm going to gain your trust, I need to know that you trust me. Most people do. You wouldn't believe how many people have come up to me and told me stories about their day or just came up and sat right next to me and struck up a conversation. I constantly ask my friends, "Do I have 'Confess to me' stamped on my face?"

I'm a trustworthy person. I will help you out and do the best that I can to gain and keep your trust. I like people to enjoy having me around. I just won't give you my trust.

Basically unless I've known you for a very long time or you just basically tell me everything, I will think you are "telling a story". It's not like I feel that way for every person I meet but...I believe that first impressions are almost everything. If you act a certain way near me for the five minutes we meet and then you act totally different the next time we meet, I'm going to have problem with that.

I have one friend in particular who I just don't trust. She's a nice person...wow, that was hard to write. Okay, she's a person who I kind of enjoy being around but she gets on my nerves. It's just something about what she says that just doesn't seem like the truth when she talks to me. And then there are situations that it seems like she truly is being sincere and wants a friend but i have no empathy for her and just don't want to hear it (terrible friend, i know).

Giving someone your trust, basically knowing they will know what will irk you and be there when you need the help, is just something I don't do a lot of. My family barely has all of my trust. If you ask five different people within my life, they will tell you five different things about me but one similar thing....I keep to myself. I am the only person I can trust. It's kind of painful to think about it that way....but in a way it's true.