Chapter 1:- It was just a fantasy
Harvey was behaving like a horses ass. I, Janet Seaforth his ever loving ball and chain was having none of it.  Especially not today.  Harvey is generally obnoxious, like a gnat chewing on cow hide.  The barometric pressure was giving me a headache and Harvey was giving me a pain somewhere else.  The kids were off on a playdate or I would have gladly sent them off fishing with their dad just to get the three of them out of my hair. I know it sounds bitchy but I don't do well emothionally with screaming from the little ones and whining from daddy-o.  I really just wanted to stay in our dark room until the homicidal urges would go away with the headache. Instead I was trying to take advance of having no kids around to get chores done. I was trying  to revamp our living room on this particular saturday.  I was trying to get Harv to help me move the wall unit to the corner and angle it out. Currently it was taking up valuable real estate on a wall I needed for a buffet.  Do ya think Harv would budge? No, of course not!  He sat in his naugahide recliner with a beer in hand saying everything looked fine.  Finally he got up to assist me as I was really straining my back.  Worse for him was having to give me a rub down after letting me do it myself.  He totally discounted several fringe benifits of giving wifey poo a simple massage.  He happened to be standing in the wrong place at the wrong time when  me and the wall unit lost our  balance and it toppled on top of him.  Harve the wallunit and our 27" TV went down in a crashing heap.  I could have claimed it was an un fortunate accident and get away with murder.  However your  Honor ...I am onlystanding here about todo time for manslaughter  becasuse some damn bailiff overheard me tell some one I would have killed Harv for a Klondike Bar