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In Memory
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Chapter 1:- Seeing is Believing
It was a chilly September morning, not indistinguishable from most September mornings except for a nervous energy in the air. Start of term was full of new clothes, new books and supplies, nervous freshmen, and bored seniors. The culminating energies of these particular individuals mixed to a sort of addictive excitement that radiated throughout the town. Local businesses thrived on irresponsible young adults spending their tuition money for last minute “necessities”, and the attentive parents who could not leave their eager students without the best of everything. Despite being within a rural community, the university showed signs of sophistication at every corner, making it hard for its residents to admit that Evergreen was in essence just a small farm town. Most residents of Evergreen promoted these areas of sophistication rather than the surrounding farms and ranches. There were also of course plenty of bars and espresso stands to keep up with such a hip bunch, all in the name of commerce.
The town’s non college residents seemed immune to the ebb and flow of the college life; as much as can be expected. Children of all ages went to their various elementary schools and led life common to rural communities. The 4-H clubs were thriving and the county fair and rodeo was always the big event of the year. In essence it was as if the two most extreme opposite community lifestyles crashed together in this place that is Evergreen. The late 1800s saw the future of Evergreen as a bustling agricultural community. No one would have guessed that a new century would bring with it advanced education. Most seasoned inhabitants would just say that the odd assortment of people and things in the town somehow “Just works.” And that is Evergreen.
Within the grid-like streets of a well established neighborhood not too far from the University itself was a standard two story house built in the 1940s, fully restored and renovated by the previous occupants. The wood floors had been restored and the whole house seemed to have a rather updated contemporary style, despite the age of the house itself. There were cracks in the driveway and a few faint handprints on one end of the sidewalk. It was known as the Martin house, mostly by the kids who lived close by. The Shepherd boys, who lived next door, often admired the chocolate lab that lived there and they sometimes stopped to talk to his owner the butcher, or his wife, every now and then. The Shepherd boys could never have a pet of their own nor did they partake in average children’s activities. Their parents were professors so naturally the boys were subject to all things educational and purposeful.
Lillian Martin got up to peer outside. The Shepherd family was piling in their Subaru Outback like a well oiled machine. Lillian stretched and sighed, trying to mentally prepare herself for a long day, but knew it was futile. “Will, time to get up.” The alarm clock had gone off 10 minutes ago and William moaned and turned over pretending it wasn’t quite morning yet and pretending he didn’t hear the alarm or his wife’s suggestion. I suppose aging beef won’t complain if he’s a little late. Lillian sluggishly got into her robe and slippers, careful not to disturb the large brown lump at the foot of the bed that was their chocolate lab Riley. She was on her way downstairs to the kitchen to drink in caffeinated liquid life and read the paper. On her way past the bed, Lillian pulled the blankets off of her husband and slapped an exposed foot, hard enough to fully awaken the owner. At 26 and a newlywed, Lillian was still getting used to many changes in her life. She was finishing her Master’s degree in Anthropology and was anxious to be done with it. This program required 20 hours of lab work that most often turned into teaching assistant or secretarial work. Her husband, William, worked as a butcher and manager in a small family owned meat shop across town. The couple were by no means rich, but they managed to buy a house, pay the bills and occasionally take in a movie or dinner. But things would be easier once Lillian was done with school and on to working full time. That was if she ever finished. She was seriously having doubts as to whether or not that was ever going to happen. Lillian was considering quitting all together or at least taking a long break; a break to work and enjoy life while she was still young and before they started having a family. She sipped her coffee and fed Oliver, the cat, and made her way to the dining room after grabbing the paper from the front porch. The sun was growing brighter and slowly started illuminating the kitchen and dining room. Lillian knew it was time to start the beginning of a busy day. She sat going through the paper quickly while eating her breakfast, not really paying much attention to the printed pages.
Lillian heard the water come on upstairs and knew William had finally gotten up and was in the shower. She finished the rest of her coffee and gave the remaining muffin to Riley who had just appeared and put both the cat and the dog out before heading back upstairs.
Lillian thought of the day ahead of her. She was due to meet her new office mate today and she was a bit nervous. Each term the graduate students within the Anthropology program rotated offices to ensure teamwork and cohesiveness within the department. Past co-workers had not worked out so well, so Lillian hoped this one would be decent. Lillian stood in front of the closet for a moment and decided she wasn’t going to wear anything special. She selected her favorite jeans and a black fitted tee shirt and headed toward the shower, stopping at the dresser long enough to grab some undergarments.
She opened the bathroom door to find William just getting out of the shower steam momentarily enveloping him. She got a chill and smiled as William grabbed her and gave her a long kiss. Lillian still got goose bumps when she saw her husband in all his glory. He was quite well built and not ashamed to show it. It was a wonder he wasn’t already married when they had started dating being the catch that he was. William pulled away and smiled, “Looking forward to your first day of school?” he asked as he dried himself off.
“Yeah, I guess so. The summer went by way too fast. I just hope I can get more work done this year and especially sharing an office with someone.” Lillian stripped and got into the hot shower, letting the water run over her body instantly warming her. She thought of her past experiences with sharing an office, and sighed.
The last girl to share her office was anything but working material. She would sit on her desk and drone on and on about why guys wouldn’t return her calls, and asking what makeup she should wear. On occasion she would bring her makeup and nail polish and proceed to turn the office into a salon. The girl was always surprised when their supervisor suggested she get some work done. It was an awful time for Lillian to get any work done herself and she often took her work home, and met students in the library just to avoid the talkative manicurist wasting the little space in the office.
“I’ll be home around six so dinner should be at the usual time. Want anything special?” Lillian called through the shower curtain to William, as she brought herself back to the present.
William smiled as he started brushing his teeth, “I’ll bring home a few tri-tips.” At least that is what Lillian thought he had said, although she wasn’t too sure in between the spits and running water. At that point Lillian wondered how many other women in her field had had that sort of communication with their spouses. She imagined dry, humorless stuffy individuals arguing over the minutia of scientific calculations and endless boring discussions of things long since past. She smiled and reached for her lavender scented body wash as the hot water washed her worries away, for now at least.
. . . .
“Some people are trying to sleep you know!” Kate awoke to an unwanted amount of noise outside her bedroom window, which came in the form of her neighbors slamming doors and revving an ill sounding engine. She contemplated going back to sleep but knew it was a lost cause and after laying in bed for 20 minutes decided she might as well get up to face the day. It was a little after seven, and she wasn’t due anywhere for a few hours, but decided she could at least take her time getting ready. Her somewhat spacious apartment had been decorated in a collection of strewn clothing, mail, papers, dishes, books, and the occasional political poster and paraphernalia. Although, her papers were impeccable just as her work, her housecleaning skills left much to be desired. But she didn’t care, she lived alone and was here for a reason, and that was to get a degree and then a get a job.
Kate was only 22, seemingly young for being in a master’s program. She was exceptionally smart and gifted and deceptionally nerdy to the point of cataloguing her books, and having a natural capacity for learning just about anything. Her cool outward persona was anything but this anal studious librarian. She was slender and strong, her body littered with piercings and a few tattoos. Her expressions combined with her natural beauty was a sight to see, and men were naturally drawn to her. Occasionally she would grace them with attention, but relationships were not on her agenda. Even though her agenda changed from month to month, relationships were never usually on them. Kate had little patience for the drama of long term relationships and knew she was going to be traveling for as long as she could, so marriage in her mind was impossible. She liked being alone, and not to say she didn’t enjoy the company of her close friends or acquaintances at parties, but alone is how she preferred most of her days to be. Her quick temper and opinionated words left some to feel quite threatened by her outward honesty, but she felt it one of her greatest assets. Kate knew what it was like to be lied to. She knew all too well what lies bought and promised herself she would never live a life of betrayal, at the cost of many who thought her mannerism rude.
After locating her bra under her towel on the bathroom floor, Kate began other morning rituals in no particular order before heading to campus. Shoving her feet into some Converse All Stars, and grabbing a sweatshirt she was out the door for a morning smoke. The air was cool and made her fair cheeks flush as she stepped out onto the cold stone slab of a porch. Kate peered across the street to determine who was committing the mortal sin of awakening her before her appointed time. But unfortunately, no evidence was present to indicate who the culprit was. Kate took a long drag and flicked the butt out in front of her and ran her fingers through her short pixie cut blonde and flaming red hair. “Assholes.” She breathed out as she went in to finish preparing for a day of hard work and much agony in front of the computer.
. . . .
In a lofty apartment in downtown Seattle, Charlotte Richardson sat at a dressing table in her master suite, pulling her long hair back into a high ponytail. She got up early to take advantage of jog while she was still able to. The 28 year old was in great shape and her lean body could attest to years of careful eating and avid exercise. She was the envy of every woman in her clinic and the object of many a fantasy to all of the men she worked with. Her husband, Mark, had truly gained himself the perfect trophy wife. Aside from her physical beauty, Charlotte was smart and well cultured with a sweet gentle nature about her that almost made her seem angelic.
Charlotte crossed the large bedroom to the compact treadmill that stood in a corner overlooking the waterfront. With a dancer’s grace she stretched for a few minutes, grabbed her iPod and began her morning run, while she was still able to. She often envisioned herself jogging through open forests, or along a beautiful stream bed or river. Charlotte looked out over the water and wondered if she could just jog right out into the ocean. The city was home and had been for several years now, but she loved the outdoors and Mother Nature was never too far from Charlotte’s mind. She didn’t do much camping per say, but she did enjoy hiking and the invigorating feeling it gave her.
After 45 minutes, Charlotte slowed her pace to a walk and checked her pulse. Stretching again, Charlotte looked over at her BlackBerry on her nightstand. There was no light flashing, a good indication that she did not have to rush to work. Mark had left before Charlotte had even woken up. He was an early bird and preferred his mornings to begin at the athletic club. For being a surgeon there were some social constraints that Mark gave into, and going to the athletic club with the other surgeons was one of them. Charlotte picked up her personal cell phone that had been charging on her dresser. She sat at her vanity again and rapidly dialed a number from memory. She glanced quickly at the clock to make sure it wasn’t too early to be calling her sister, and even if it was, it was worth it.
. . . .
The phone rang and Lillian sighed, as she finished making the bed. It was her. Lillian never savored her older sister’s early morning phone calls, mainly because she did not enjoy starting the day feeling less than adequate.
Growing up with
“Hi Char” Lillian answered the phone lazily as she sat on the edge of the bed and put on her socks and trainers.
“Hey Lil, how did you know it was me?”
“Even Will’s Mom doesn’t call me this early. What do you want?” Lillian tried to mask the annoyance of the phone call, but failed miserably.
“What do I want? That is a wonderful way to greet your sister. What’s your problem this morning?” The soft bird voice had deflated slightly. “I just wanted to share some really good news with my little sister is all.” Lillian could actually see Charlotte pretending to pout and rolled her eyes at such a childish act from a grown woman. Lillian let out a sigh.
“Look, I’m just trying to get out the door, I’ve got a busy day today. So, what’s this good news?” Lillian was slightly intrigued, but feigned disinterest anyways.
“You’re always busy. I promise this won’t take too much time out of your busy day.” Charlotte said “busy” with a tone of disbelief, further irritating Lillian. “I was going to wait a little while before I told anyone but I just can’t wait any longer!” There was a dramatic pause and then Charlotte burst, “I’m pregnant! I took one of those home pregnancy tests last week and my doctor confirmed just yesterday. The baby will be born in May. Oh, I’m so excited!”
“Don’t tell anyone just yet, I want to surprise everyone. Mark’s parents don’t know yet and I haven’t called Zoe yet.”
Lillian hung up the phone and sat at on the edge of the bed, looking out the window.
Bottom line was Lillian had always felt substandard compared to her big sister. Even compared to Zoe, Lillian was the plainest and most uninteresting child among them. Lillian had long dark brown hair that frizzed and was hard to manage, hazel eyes, olive skin, and a short stout frame that she detested. She was even tempered and quiet, never revealing too much of herself.
Lillian felt dizzy and she closed her eyes to stop the spinning. William came in just then looking for his keys which was a daily ritual. He noticed his wife staring out the window and knew in an instant that something was amiss.
“Lilly, Honey, have you seen my keys?” Lillian continued to stare out the window. “Sweety, you alright?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah I’m fine, just thinking. Char just called. She wanted to tell me the news that she’s pregnant!” This time Lillian’s excitement was apparent as she buried her green thoughts down deep. Her real excitement and joy was shining through, finally.
“Really? Wow, that’s great! You’re going to be an aunt! And I will be the favorite uncle.” Lillian smiled at her husband and tried to picture him with a small child on his back clinging to his neck and galloping around the living room. A sharp pain shot through her stomach and up to her heart. The dizziness was back.
“Well, of course you’ll be the favorite uncle, and I will spoil the kid rotten. Feed him or her a ton of candy and then send him home with Char!” That thought did cheer Lillian up a bit and the pain faded as she looked at her watch. “Oh, shit I need to finish getting ready. Your keys are ….here, I’ll see you later ok? Have a nice day, love you.” She swiftly collected herself, kissed her husband on the cheek and went to gather her stuff from the office.
. . . .
The Anthropology department was often overlooked when it came time for the University to hand out grants and recognition. The University was known for its education and environmental programs, not Anthropology. The department had a few small offices scattered around a rapidly aging building for the few graduate students to call their own. There was hardly space for more than one person let alone more than one desk, but like anything else the students made it work. Lillian was no exception to that and did what she could to make the closet-like space somewhat comfortable. There were a few pictures of Archaeological significance pinned on the wall by her computer docking station and a lone fig plant on the tiny window sill.
Lillian fired up her laptop, filtered through her email then scanned through her calendar. She was about to start grading some quizzes that had been left for her when she heard a knock on the door and a bubbly voice. “Knock Knock! Hey there, you must be Lillian, I’m Aidyn.”
“Hi, come on it, I was just about to start grading. Make yourself at home.” Lillian nervously gestured to the desk opposite of hers.
“Thanks!” Aidyn unloaded her laptop and a few notebooks while Lillian continued on with her grading. “Hey, do you want to go grab a coffee? I could use some caffeine!” Aidyn did not appear to be in need of a caffeine fix but all the same coffee did sound like a good idea to Lillian.
“Sure.”
Lillian’s first reaction was to decline the offer, but the little voice in her head told her it wouldn’t hurt her to be social every now and then. Besides she may end up finding a really good friend in Aidyn and Lillian knew that those were hard to find. Despite their differences in outward appearance and demeanor; Lillian and Aidyn were getting along well. Lillian was surprised that Aidyn had such depth and she found it refreshing. Most of the people Lillian was in contact with at the college were either very stuffy or had little time for schoolwork as it interfered with their social agenda. Lillian at first glance would have found Aidyn to be on the later group, but was pleasantly surprised to find out that she had a great mixture of traits. Aidyn was energetic, outgoing, confident and highly loquacious. Along with this she presented herself with poise and glamour, right down to her sparkly eye shadow and lip gloss. Aidyn was kind of like a little sparkly shining star, and Lillian felt lucky to befriend such a star.
Almost an hour had passed since the two had first arrived at the local coffee shop talking about all of Aidyn’s accomplishments and her goals in life. Lillian was amazed how someone their age could accomplish so much and still have such a passion for life with amazing goals for their future. Lillian began to feel a little self conscious about her own life and started hoping that Aidyn wouldn’t ask her about her accomplishments. Lillian realized she hadn’t been paying attention to Aidyn for the last five minutes and regained her focus on the star long enough to hear her utter the dreaded words, “Well, that’s pretty much it. So, tell me a little bit more about yourself.”
“Um…ok…what would you like to know?” Lillian froze and for a split second she considered feigning having to be somewhere, anywhere. Instead she took a deep breath and collected herself. It wasn’t until recently that she dreaded to talk about her life, about her non-existent life.
“Well…let’s see…what plans do you have after graduation?” Graduation? Lillian hadn’t really thought about graduation since she received her Bachelor’s degree. For some reason she couldn’t quite picture herself graduating this time around.
“I honestly don’t know what I want to do after school. I guess it depends on when I graduate and what’s out there for me. I do hope to find a locally though. ”
“Very true. I’m not sure what I would do if I weren’t continuing on with my doctorate. I just hope it pays off! Do you have any kids? I have met a lot of people in our program with families.” Aidyn was very matter of fact about the question as if she was conducting a survey of college students with children.
“Um…we don’t have any kids right now…we might someday…we’re still kinda talking about it.” Lillian wanted to run and hide under the counter with the baristas and bury herself in coffee beans. How could she sound so unsure of herself? She sounded like an idiot who didn’t know which end was up. Why did she have no clue about where she wanted to end up? Why is everyone talking babies and children? Aidyn feigned intense interest, and both girls finished their espressos and decided to head back to the office and get some work done. Lillian was glad of the change, as the conversation had just reached a low point.
. . . .
The end of the work day came at last and Lillian had stayed a few minutes extra to finish her grading and putting together a presentation she had been working on. It was already getting dark outside and Lillian decided it was about time she head home. William would probably be home by the time she got there and she had promised dinner would be ready on time. A tiny window in the office was cracked to let some fresh air in. The breeze was unusually cold and the leaves rustled outside as they skipped along the sidewalk into the landscaped courtyard. She heard footsteps coming down the hall and hoped it wasn’t one of the professors coming to pester her about finishing her thesis on time. Instead a slender figure walked in carrying a book and looking completely chilled to the core. “It’s fucking cold out there!” It was Kate. She had stopped by to drop off a book she had borrowed from Lillian earlier that week.
“Oh hey. I thought you were one of them for a minute. God, I swear if they ask me when I’ll be done…” Lillian let the sentence hang for dramatic affect before letting Kate continue.
“I know how you feel; I just ignore it and ask them when they will be done with my revision instead. Anyways, just on my way home, thought I would swing by and drop your book off. I finished it last night. It was pretty good.”
“Oh yeah, thanks. It’s not the best one in the series but it’s alright. I’m just on my way out too, I’ll walk with you. I’ll tell you about the girl who is sharing the office with me.”
“Oh yeah, forgot about that. Is she better than the last one?” Kate remembered the previous girl obsessed with her looks. The two different personalities did not get along well and at times made for awkward situations when they happened to run into one another.
“Yeah, she’s an improvement; she’s nice, just …busy.” Lillian didn’t quite know how to describe Aidyn to Kate, and settled on a recap of their afternoon, including a physical description of Aidyn, which Kate did not find too impressing. It would appear to Kate that Aidyn was just another cookie cutter overachiever that loved to bask in her own glow. Lillian felt this was an unfair assumption and knew that Aidyn was so much more, and hoped she could prove it to Kate. Kate was much too quick to offer an opinion on someone, and Lillian found it hard to ignore.
. . . .
The glow of the desk lamp illuminated the clock on the wall just enough for Lillian to make out that it was almost midnight. She stretched and contemplated her work, and decided a cup of coffee or tea would help strengthen her concentration. It had been hard to get back into the swing of things now that the school term had officially started. As she walked into the kitchen, Lillian took stock of the work she had completed and the work she had left to do. She had a completed outline and a working proposal for her thesis, but she was unable to add much to it. Most of the research had been done over the summer in between Lillian’s volunteer efforts to help with the summer field school. The days were getting shorter and yet they never seemed to end for Lillian who was often up past midnight and up at six am the next morning to do it all over again.
In some ways the quiet of the night was comforting to Lillian. There were no distractions and even in the darkest of nights things seemed clearer. The moon was a constant companion glowing in a background full of glitter. The kitchen was lighted only by the stove light that cast a warm dim glow over the counters as Lillian chose a decaffeinated tea to prepare. She was having enough trouble sleeping without the aid of caffeine. She set the kettle on the stove and left the spout uncovered to prevent it from whistling. William had gone to bed over an hour ago and she did not want to wake him. She heard a little bell ringing toward her and looked down to see Oliver. He wound lovingly between her legs purring loudly, waiting for Lillian to give him some milk. It was a little ritual they had adopted when Lillian was working late at night, and she enjoyed the company, as simple as it was.
With her steaming cup of tea, Lillian stood in front of the kitchen window that overlooked the back garden, breathing in the strong but sweet aroma of the herbs. Oliver was happily lapping up a bit of milk and Lillian smiled. There was a full moon that shone slivers of light through the trees and created patches of white grass that seemed to dance when the wind gently blew. She was watching the trees and her eyes refocused to her own faded reflection she had been looking through. Even through the window she looked tired and worn. She continued to gaze through her reflection and she suddenly had an image of a time long ago, of a past life just beyond her reach. She saw herself sitting on the grass in the moonlight, arms stretched overhead as if trying to touch the stars. A few leaves were dancing around her as the wind billowed through her hair. Her image reached one of the fallen leaves and ran it down her face as if taking in the texture of nature. Lillian’s eyes refocused to her own reflection in the glass with the soft glow of the stove light behind her. This time the image was gone but she saw her mother’s face behind her, forcing Lillian to squint and gasp in horror. Then as if the image had transformed itself, Lillian was now looking at her younger sister Zoe’s face. Lillian began to scream and clasped her hand over her mouth, dropping her teacup with a clatter into the sink she was standing over. She whipped around to see nothing but an empty kitchen, and turned once again to face the window.
Lillian shut her eyes and counted to ten. Daring to reopen them, she looked straight into the window, to see her own startled image staring back at her. She must have imagined it. A hallucination brought on by lack of sleep and stress that was all. What she saw was nothing more than a subconscious memory of her mother mixed with a longing to see her sister. Lillian told herself these things and she washed out her teacup. Her hands were shaking slightly and she noticed a slight numbing sensation in her fingertips. She didn’t want to remember the last time she saw an image of someone other than her reflection. She was young, yet she remembered that event as if it happened yesterday. But, that did not matter; she had been working hard and just needed to sleep. Lillian put up her work for the night and took her own advice. She decided she had better go to bed before she had anymore stress- induced hallucinations.
Lillian tried her best to rationalize the incident as she quietly went upstairs. Lillian got out of her robe and slippers and just as she was climbing into bed she stepped on something thin and dry that crunched under her bare foot. She looked down and strained in the darkness and picked up the object. Turning it over in her hand she concluded that it was a folded piece of paper that she has stepped on, probably schoolwork that got misplaced somehow. As she held the paper she felt oddly faint, the numbing sensation returned and began to creep from her hand to the rest of her body. Lillian had remembered hearing how stress and fatigue could do strange things to the body. She set the paper on the nightstand and got into bed gently so not to disturb William, who was oblivious to her presence. As Lillian pushed her thoughts from her mind and beckoned sleep to come upon her, she couldn’t help but think of her mother, and pulled a memory from deep down of her mother tucking her in when she was little. She hadn’t thought of that particular memory in awhile, and at the same time she thought of how she used to do the same for Zoe shortly after their parents died. Zoe would wake in the night in tears from nightmares. Lillian never felt comfortable in any type of mothering role, but she did her best when it was needed. And with thoughts of her youth shifting in her head, Lillian drifted off to a somewhat dreamless sleep.
. . . .
Lillian was young, but she remembered playing with a mirror and brush that was sitting on the dresser. Ms. Melissa was watching the girls that day, and Lillian always thought of her as very pretty and graceful. She had a gentleness about her that comforted Lillian, and often she could be found sitting at Ms. Melissa’s dressing table inspecting the various lotions and perfume bottles that lined a silver tray. Off to one side of the table sat a silver and ivory hand mirror and brush that did more than just temp Lillian. While
A week later the girls were staying with their grandparents while their parents were making a last minute trip out of the country to visit family. The girls, they decided were too young for a plane ride that long and promised to take them next time. Lillian was feeling a bit under the weather and sat by the sitting room window watching
. . . .
Morning had left Lillian better rested and her day began for the most part like every other day. She stared up at the ceiling and tried to rationalize her late night hallucinations. She was so unsettled by the thought that it was still on her mind. She continued to stare at the ceiling for a few moments attempting to push aside her odd feelings and focus on the present. She turned over to see that William’s side of the bed was empty. William was out of the house early for a run before heading off to work. Lillian reached over and grabbed William’s pillow, pulling it toward her and breathed deep. The sweet smell of him triggered her endorphins slightly and she grinned. She loved to remind herself of William’s scent whenever she could. It was comforting and soothing; a way to take William with her wherever she went. With a quick stretch and glance at the clock, Lillian got up and began getting ready for the day. She figured if she could get in some early hours in the office she could finish grading papers and have the rest of the afternoon to study and work on her thesis. She only had one class that day but that didn’t mean Lillian was any less busy.
Lillian ran downstairs to grab some coffee to go and glanced out the kitchen window while doing so. Although it wasn’t fully sunrise yet, the yard was easy enough to see. She decided to pretend that nothing had happened the night before and that it was silly to let a hallucination keep her from her daily routine. Lillian slowly walked over to the French doors off the dining room. She walked slowly outside and stood on the porch and looked out across the yard. Lillian sipped her coffee and breathed in the crisp early morning air. There was almost no odor but the scent of approaching winter and of dampness. Lillian frowned, and fought to ignore the feeling of something odd, something out of place in the world. Sighing, Lillian went back inside, poured herself the last of the coffee into a travel mug, tracked down her bag, coat and keys and headed out the door.
