Well, I'll point out the "something" that I just noticed on chapter 5 and chapter 6. They have same texts, but with different chapter title. The one on chapter 5 says, "Afternoon" in title and the one on chapter 6 says, "Morning". But both of them have the same texts. I think you made a mistake by repeating the chapter without you realize, or are you really deliberately make it like that? Overall, I can see this is really interesting. It's short indeed, and I love short words. Quite inspirational for my twitter novel. Keep this up. ^^.
By:  Ryby  on  Thu, 10 February 2011 03:47:34

I have fallen in love with your story. At first your summary kind of made me avoid it to be honest haha XD But after reading your chapters I am totally hooked. Your writing style and format is even more minimalistic and simplistic than the first cell phone novels that came to light in North America. I am enjoying it alot. It really brings out the essence of simplicity but packed with emotion. Simplicity often brings out the best and the deep hidden omitted unsaid words. The line breaks are also well done. Fragments, short sentences they all add to the dramatic effect. I'd like to also welcome you on board the cell phone novel genre movement. We're all here to revolutionize the publishing and writing scene with our cell phone novels. Being young new aspiring authors, we have great dreams and visions. Please keep writing. This is totally captivating! Let's all make cell phone novels a phenomenon here in North America just like it was in Japan. Feel free to contact me any time! -Takatsu, Author of Secondhand Memories First cell phone novelist in North America.
By:  takatsu  on  Fri, 31 December 2010 16:01:00