Being a not so small person off and on, I can tell you that it funny to a point. We all try to laugh at ourselves, but then realize that our own jokes hurt more than what others say because we failed ourselves trying to please others. I felt for her in the whole wedding gown scene. I've been there and it don't feel too great. Good job so far. I would also be happy to critique if you want to email it to me at vpg4u@mris.com. I've been trying to find people to start and actual critique group. It would be great to get real feedback on my work. I am taking a critique class now and it has really giving me good feedback to work with..
By:  Vivi Dumas  on  Mon, 22 March 2010 09:57:47

OK, great..thanks!! That actually makes a lot of sense..I was kind of struggling with chapter 1..I want to try to paint the picture of a woman who has been successfully fooling herself that she has it all together(because who really does?), but realizes that she has essentially been avoiding herself, and kind of making a joke out of her life to avoid having to try to improve on herself (because she is terrified of failing, or worse, having people know that she has tried and failed). Im struggling to make her believable, but convey her perception of herself and her life..if you can come up with any ideas, please share!! Ive been kind of coming back to it, but then i get bombarded with ideas for next steps (isnt that usually the case!?) As far as grammar...lets just say that im the type of gal who has spell and grammar check set permanently on her work email! ;) thank you very much for your thoughts, I really appreciate it!! I will be sure to return the favor very soon!!.
By:  M. Harlow  on  Sat, 20 March 2010 19:47:21

Since you wanted a critique, here it is: your story is very funny, clever, and well written. There are a few grammatical errors but nothing really takes away from the story. However, the first chapter paints your narrator as almost too comedic--she comes off not as a real woman but as a stereotype. I was surprised when I read chapters 2-9 and she suddenly was making a lot less excuses for her weight, in fact she was proud of her figure, which made her much more real and likable. I'd have to read chapter 1 again to tell you how I'd fix it, but chapters 2-9 don't really need changing. I'll make some notes on the chapters with grammar stuff and chapter 1 when I go back over it, though. If you feel like sending me a critique on my story as well, I'd appreciate it!.
By:  Kinetic Novels  on  Sat, 20 March 2010 12:01:03

Thanks, this is so great! I just wanted to make people laugh with a character that everyone can relate to in some way. Please critique-i literally have not had another person read anything ive written since i was in high school...(which now is looking more than a few years back!).
By:  M. Harlow  on  Thu, 18 March 2010 11:27:14

congrats!!!!.
By:  kathleen ball  on  Thu, 18 March 2010 10:48:51

This is a very funny story. Keep up the good work, and congratulations on two editor's picks!.
By:  Kinetic Novels  on  Wed, 17 March 2010 15:40:37

Congratulations! This story has been selected as an Editor's Pick on http://www.textnovel.com. We pick these stories based on writing quality, originality and publishing potential. Plus we think your story is an example of the type of story that has a shot at a prize and possible publication. But you're not done yet: --Keep up the writing and make sure to keep publishing new chapters while you're getting this extra attention. --Now's the time to increase visitors and votes -- make sure to blog about the fact that your story is an Editor's Pick and use the Invite tool from the My Library page to invite your friends to visit Textnovel, read your story and become a fan and vote for your story. This will move you up in the rankings and increase the chance that you'll get noticed and have a shot at winning the grand prize. We make new Editor's Picks every couple of weeks (sometimes more often) so don't wait too long to get your story in front of as many people as possible. Textnovel.com Editorial Team .
By:  Textnovel Team  on  Wed, 17 March 2010 09:38:26

Very funny. Love it..
By:  Sara Thacker  on  Wed, 10 March 2010 20:38:23

This is definitely my kind of story. It's witty and the premise is unique. Favorite line: "It's dangerous to run when your legs touch." Hysterical. Keep up the good work!.
By:  Kimberly S. Lin  on  Wed, 10 March 2010 20:21:54

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!! .
By:  M. Harlow  on  Wed, 10 March 2010 18:48:50

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