This story is wonderfully written, I havent had a chance to finish it yet, but so far I am hooked in..the feeling of wanting to know more reminds me of when I would read a Dan Brown book! Im sure that there is a grammatical faux paux in there somewhere, but I honestly havent had found anything to critique yet..I love the ballsy move of the opening scene! You really kick the reader in the gut and make them ask for more..cant wait to finish this! .
By:  M. Harlow  on  Tue, 23 March 2010 17:13:09

editor's pick- Your writing is wonderful.
By:  kathleen ball  on  Wed, 17 March 2010 12:51:53

Congratulations! This story has been selected as an Editor's Pick on http://www.textnovel.com. We pick these stories based on writing quality, originality and publishing potential. Plus we think your story is an example of the type of story that has a shot at a prize and possible publication. But you're not done yet: --Keep up the writing and make sure to keep publishing new chapters while you're getting this extra attention. --Now's the time to increase visitors and votes -- make sure to blog about the fact that your story is an Editor's Pick and use the Invite tool from the My Library page to invite your friends to visit Textnovel, read your story and become a fan and vote for your story. This will move you up in the rankings and increase the chance that you'll get noticed and have a shot at winning the grand prize. We make new Editor's Picks every couple of weeks (sometimes more often) so don't wait too long to get your story in front of as many people as possible. Textnovel.com Editorial Team .
By:  Textnovel Team  on  Wed, 17 March 2010 09:33:59

i agree..very vivid scenes. i rarely see that on cellphone novels..great story and writing :).
By:  idle_as_always  on  Tue, 23 February 2010 02:26:43

Thank you, nick. And yes, Karra, the slaughter scene is a test to see who will keep reading. I'm glad you like it. :).
By:  Kinetic Novels  on  Mon, 15 February 2010 14:08:02

Holy moly. The imagery for killing the lamb almost made me cry. The poor lamb! Haha. I quite like it -- even though I feel so bad for the lamb. Keep it up!.
By:  Karra Christina  on  Mon, 15 February 2010 13:59:21

Love the title and the imagery..
By:  nick.colls  on  Mon, 15 February 2010 12:56:56

Thank you, Kathleen. I'm trying to develop the setting a little bit at a time and I think you will be surprised by what develops..
By:  Kinetic Novels  on  Mon, 15 February 2010 12:47:44

it's very different from what I usually read but it's intriguing. You pay a lot of attention to detail which is great- it makes everything seem authentic..
By:  kathleen ball  on  Mon, 15 February 2010 12:36:17