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FOUR YEARS PRIOR
MEXICAN RESTAURANT
UPPER WEST SIDE OF MANHATTAN
The night is dragging like the line at the D.M.V. Maive can feel perspiration from her under arms beginning to trickle down her sleeves. Thank God she wore two layers! If they turn up the heat any higher in this place she’ll be a puddle. It’s probably not a good idea to order anything spicy. She’ll order another margarita instead.
Having only been in the company of these girls for fifteen minutes it will hardly be appropriate to leave now, even though it is evident she will not be missed. The security wand they sweep you with at the airport is far more subtle then the once-over these girls are giving her.
They take in every piece of her jewelry, clothes, shoe brand, and purse type. When the four of them talk amongst themselves about a Bar Mitzvah she is not invited to, a nose job and how painful it is, and a sale at Bloomingdales which includes Tory Burch, she can tell they aren’t impressed with her small pearl earrings, white blouse,
Maive excuses herself to the ladies room to make sure she doesn’t have anything in her teeth and returns a few minutes later to find the girls have been seated at a table and are looking at menus.
“I know what I’m having to eat!” Janet looks up from her black framed Prada glasses after perusing the menu for ten seconds.
“I don’t know what to have! It all looks so fattening.” The skinny one grimaces.
Maive notices that Janet’s friend is not just thin, but grotesquely so, with a sheen that covers her face like a freshly Zambonied ice rink. She also has a nervous habit of twisting her long, frizzy black hair around her pointer finger and chewing on it.
“Mmm...grilled salmon!” The frumpy one practically drools as she reads the menu.
“I think I’ll get the Southwestern salad, minus everything, but the pepper and celery.” Anorexic decides and shuts the menu.
“I’m having one of everything!” The one who had mentioned having a nose job says.
“What are you having, Marilyn?” Janet looks at Maive.
“It’s Maive.” She smiles apologetically. “I think I’m going to have a black bean burrito.”
“I hope you’re not planning on sleeping with David tonight!” Frumpy says and all four women burst into laughter.
Maive ignores the comment and turns towards Janet. “What are you going to order? The shrimp sounds yummy!”
Janet looks at Maive like she has four heads. “I’m kosher!”
“Sorry! I mean I’m not sorry that you’re kosher. I didn’t know.”
Maive glances at her watch. Twenty-two minutes, fifty-six seconds and counting. An excuse! She needs an excuse. An excuse and a new napkin! If one more girl shows up that she has to shake hands with she’s going to have to resort to the ole cough and hand clasp over the mouth bit. It always works for Grandma Henry when avoiding contact with “those people” at church. She wonders if “those people” are anything like these people here.
Forget the burrito! There’s no way she’s sitting through an entree! Maybe she’ll have an appetizer, something that goes down quickly. Soup! Soup is good food. Great! Now she’s reciting commercial jargon. She looks down at her watch for the tenth time in thirty minutes.
“Is that a Rolex?” The anorexic one asks.
“No, a Timex.” Maive smiles.
“Really? I didn’t think anyone wore THOSE anymore.” She smirks and then chews on a piece of her long black hair.
Maive stops looking at her watch. She twists the chunky jade ring on her right hand instead until the frumpy one asks about the design.
“What is that?”
“It’s a turtle.” Maive nervously shrugs her shoulders.
“A what?” Her voice raises an octave.
“A turtle.” She answers to the back of her head.
The polyester napkin she has is useless! She needs a paper one. Starbucks has paper napkins. Why didn’t they meet for coffee? She can kick herself for agreeing to meet David’s ex-girlfriend and her entourage of yentas.
“Go on, Maive! It will be good for you to meet the ladies. After all, Janet has known me longer than anybody. The two of you can share stories.” David had laughed, as he pushed Maive out the door of his apartment.
Her corner of the tablecloth is soaked now. The more Maive tries not to think about her hands the more the sweat pours out. What if someone needs her to pass them something? The thought only makes her more nervous. She wipes her hands on the top of her jeans and can feel the wetness on her thighs.
She can still hear the rants of the eight grade class bully, Billy Flynn calling her “Palm Springs.” Having your calves spanked by Sister Mary Elizabeth paled in comparison to having the entire class laugh at you because Billy pulled another prank at your expense.
“Hello? HELLO?” Maive hears a shrill voice and looks up to see the four women staring at her.
It dawns on her that both Sister Mary Elizabeth and Billy Flynn have nothing on these bitches!
“How long have you and David been dating?” Nose asks.
“About eight months now.”
“You’re older than he is, right?” Anorexic asks.
“Yes I am, but I don’t think it makes a difference.”
The women share disapproving glances with one another.
“Have you met his family?” The frumpy one asks.
“Yes, I have. They seem like nice people.”
“What did they think when he brought YOU home?” Janet asks.
Her question, like a bad smell, lingers in the air. She wonders if she should lie and tell them everything is fantastic with the Adelsteins or tell them what they long to hear. Maive glances up at the four of them and feels their gazes penetrate her soul. She suddenly feels like the dog from the pound sitting next to a bunch of pedigrees. She knows exactly what Janet intends with her question, but wants to see if she will actually come out and say it.
“I don’t understand what you mean.” She plays with the charm on her necklace.
“You know!” Janet says, looking around the restaurant as if someone might be eavesdropping. “It’s not like you’re JEWISH!” She blurts out the word.
“Well no I’m not, but…”
“Have they invited you to their summer house?” Anorexic asks.
“David did, yes.” A brief smile covers her face, remembering the weekend.
“Was the family there?” Nose job asks.
“No, not that time, but…”
“I see!” Janet says. “So you haven’t been there with the family?”
“No, but David did mention something about…”
“One summer I spent almost every weekend with them. The Adelsteins are the best! Did David tell you we were practically engaged at one time?” Janet takes a sip of her water-downed chardonnay.
David hadn’t, but he did tell Maive that all Janet ever talked about was getting married and it didn’t seem to matter to whom.
“What do they think about you doing hair?” Frumpy asks.
Maive knew they couldn’t resist. “Mrs. Adelstein sees me for color!” She answers proudly.
“Really? Ethel sees YOU for her hair?” Nose asks.
Although Maive feels as though coloring Ethel’s hair for free is one of the many prices she pays for dating her son, she isn’t about to say anything negative to these girls.
“Is that the only education you have, Raven?” Frumpy asks.
Maive realizes there isn’t going to be a follow-up call from any of these girls so she doesn’t bother to correct her for calling her Raven. “Yes, I went to school for a cosmetology license.”
“So you went to school for what, twelve months?” Nose adds.
It is actually only nine months, but twelve sounds better, so Maive doesn’t say anything. The waitress approaches the table and Maive is momentarily relieved. She feigns a smile even though she wants to cry and listens to the waitress auction off their orders.
“Beef Fajitas with extra cheese?” The waitress asks and Janet nods.
While Janet’s entrée doesn’t sound kosher to Maive, she isn’t about to question her. She sure would love another margarita or six, but the waitress is already tired of them. She can’t say she blames her. When Anorexic ordered the teeny martini with the pimento to be extracted from the olive, even Maive raised an eyebrow.
“Grilled salmon?” The waitress looks over the top of her glasses. Frumpy raises a finger.
“Chicken fajitas?” She asks, not even looking at the women this time.
Nose takes the plate and immediately hands it back to her. “No condiments! I told you no condiments!”
“I’ll have the chef make you a new one.” The waitress rolls her eyes.
“Plain lettuce? This must be for you.” She hands it to the anorexic one.
“It’s not plain lettuce! There are vegetables, too.” She grabs the plate with a look of disdain.
“And the soup must be for you.” She hands it to Maive.
Without asking if they need anything else, probably out of fear that they will, she walks away.
“N.A.S.A. we have a problem!” Frumpy blurts out.
“I think you mean Houston.” Maive smiles.
Frumpy rolls her eyes. “It’s the same thing!”
“Is that waitress for real? It’s so obvious SHE doesn’t have a college degree from Penn like I do!” Janet gloats.
“I knew she wouldn’t get my order right.” Nose whines.
“What do you expect? She’s only a waitress!” Frumpy says.
“She’s not getting a good tip, that’s for sure!” Anorexic adds.
“It took her forever to get our drinks.” Janet rolls her eyes.
Maive feels sorry for the waitress, but decides this isn’t the audience to explain how hard it is to wait on tables. In fact, the only thing these bitches will probably ever wait for is the right moment to tell their boyfriend they expect nothing less than three carats.
The women pick at their food and engage in a conversation exclusive of Maive. She tries holding back her tears, but she’s no match for this group. She hopes David will understand.
“Would you excuse me, please?” Maive gets up from the table. “I think I am coming down with something and it will be best for me to leave now.” She grabs her coat and purse.
“Now? We just got our food!” Janet looks at her.
“It just hit me. I’m terribly sorry.” Maive opens her wallet to leave money.
“It’s such a shame that you have to leave, Molly. We were just getting to know you!” Janet forces a smile.
Speechless, Maive nods to all of the women and leaves the restaurant.
In lieu of taking a taxi she walks to her apartment and takes a moment to reflect on the evening. Her heart is beating like an animal escaping death or a young woman who has just been badgered by four bitter girls for taking one of their own. She takes a few deep breaths to try and calm herself and then bursts into laughter.
Proud of herself for taking a stand or at least a walk away from the table, Maive feels trepidation about telling David about the evening, but knows he will understand. Still, she can’t understand why David would associate with someone like Janet. He is nothing like her! His mother, Ethel probably introduced them with intentions of David marrying her and now Maive has come along and ruined her vision. Ethel just needs to get to know her better. Once she does, she is certain that the two of them will bond. But there will be plenty of time for that because she and David are going to be together, forever!
She sings the song At Last, by Etta James, all the way to her apartment, thinking about David and how much she loves him. She rushes upstairs to call him and say goodnight, but gets his answering machine instead.
