Preface: (My apologies in advance for any formatting issues. The ease of using formatting capabilities on this web site is pitiful.)

     Okay, I need to throw it in reverse for a moment to share a little background information so you know who I am, what my purpose for writing this is, and why you should even remotely give a rat’s ass about my opinions.

Who Am I?

     I’m just like many of you out there reading this - a married, middle class, middle age mom (or dad) with kids.  Four kids, to be exact. I have an elementary education degree and an early childhood degree, too, but I’ve been able to be home with my youngest for the last few years. He started Kindergarten this year, so I plan to go back to work full time in the fall. Since there are no teaching jobs in my state, I’ll likely be subbing all year for $50 bucks a day after taxes. Yippee. 

     My biggest vices are that I’m tactless and I have a private potty mouth (although I am completely professional in the classroom. Honest.).  I call it how I see it, so if this type of plain, uncensored talk is offensive to you, please do not bother reading my work. You will not like it. Your face will be flaming. You will give me bad reviews. Try books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting or other mainstream works.   

My Purpose

     I’m writing this because I think real moms and dads (and moms and dads to-be) have finally reached a point where they are sick of turning to divorced (or never been married) talk show hosts for marriage advice and childless talk show hosts for parenting advice. We all know of whom I speak.  

      Also, since my sister has recently gone through the pregnancy, birth, and new parenting experience, I found that I have a lot of random crap to share that isn't out there in any parenting book. She (and all her pregnant and mommy friends) call or email me about everything, from belly buttons, boobs, and bleeding to homework assignments, school bullies, and confronting crappy teachers.  

     I always tell it like it is because I wished to God I had had someone who wasn’t afraid to tell me about all the annoying, gross, scary, and infuriating issues I would have to deal with during pregnancy, birth, and raising kids. So this one is for you, sis. Hope you get a few good laughs.  

Why You Should Even Read My Opinions

     Here is my disclaimer: I’m not an expert on anything. These are my opinions from my own experiences. Every parent is different. Every experience is different. Every parent has the right to think what they want and raise their kids how they want.   

     But I’ve been there – done what you are dealing with (or will deal with) as a pregnant woman and/or parent. I’ve managed to come out with a happy marriage (most days) and decent kids that I like as people (most days) and love with all my heart (all the time).   

     I hope you can relate to my experiences, get some advice you may be able to use, and even, perhaps, get a few laughs as well.