Baby Poop, Poop, and More Poop

Until you have a baby, you have no idea how your life will revolve around poop. And pee. And puke. It’s true –I swear to God, so get used to it. The dilemma of the week – my nephew’s poop – or lack of it. Day Five - no poop, and my sis is calling me. The receptionist at the Dr. Office had told her that she should take the baby to the ER, there must be something wrong. I give her credit because she A. Did not listen to the receptionist who is NOT a trained medical professional, and has NO business giving medical advice B. Called me.

Here's what I told her:  

Breastfed babies poop a lot. Actually, all babies poop a lot, but breastfed babies tend to poop more often than formula fed babies. Usually infants under one will poop at least once a day, if not several times a day, so when your baby goes for two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight (yes, eight) days without pooping, as a parent you think something must be seriously wrong, right? Not usually.

            Here is my baby poop story: My first two children pooped and pooped and pooped. I’d nurse them, they’d fall asleep, they’d poop, then the cycle would start all over again. I think I single-handedly kept the makers of Luvs diapers in business the first several years of my children’s lives.

My third baby was different. He pooped like the older two until he was about two months old. Then, all of a sudden, no poop. Three days passed. Then four. Then five. Then six. Finally, a poop. Then he’d start all over again, going for 3-7 days between poops. When I took him in for his regular checkup, which was the following week, the doctor wanted to do a barium enema and other tests when I asked him about the poop issue. He recommended these tests solely to cover his own ass, and I’m SO glad I didn’t listen and followed my own instincts.

My child wasn’t crying in that pain like way. Wasn’t overly fussy. No fever. Tummy was soft and pliable. Farts stinky enough to make your eyes water, yes, but other than that there wasn’t anything wrong with him. He was just using all the nutrients I was giving him and transitioning from that seedy yellow/green poop to more big baby, peanut butter consistency poop. Once he started pooping only once (or twice rarely) a week, that became his normal pattern, even to this day. And the farts to this day if he eats broccoli or carrots can knock you over. Lesson learned? Every baby is different. What is normal for one isn’t normal for all.  

            However, please understand, if my little guy had not pooped for six or seven days and had any of the other symptoms I mentioned – fever, uncontrollable crying and pulling his legs up, hard tummy—I would have taken him to the ER without hesitation. But 9 times out of 10, parents worry more about poop than necessary. Here are a couple make-him-poop-so-I-can-stop-worrying tricks that worked for me that I shared with my sis - directly from the pediatrician:

            1. Use a thermometer with a glob of petroleum jelly to lubricate the butt a little (gross, I know, but if it makes them feel like they have to go and does the trick, why not?)

            2. Give your baby an ounce of clarified (no chunks) apple juice diluted with an ounce of water (this takes a while to have an effect, but it usually works within 6-12 hours and yes, it’s fine even if your baby isn’t eating rice cereal yet)

            3. As a last resort, use an infant glycerin suppository (this usually gets a poop within 30 minutes, but sometimes it takes as long as the apple juice trick – you have to either keep your finger over their butthole to keep it in until it dissolves or squeeze their butt checks together – otherwise they just keep pushing it out and it doesn’t work – also, the glycerin suppository is very tiny – not like adult size – and should only be used if you get to like day nine without a poop)

            BTW, never, never give your baby a liquid laxative unless advised by a doctor. It can cause severe cramping and other medical complications. If your baby is at day 10 with no poop - see your doctor. Better safe than sorry.  

Additional Baby Poop Tidbits (no pun intended)

            My husband and I about died laughing the first day we were home with our new baby. He looked so soft, innocent, and delicate—until we heard the noises that came out of his butt. Holy crap! It was worse than anything we had ever let loose as adults. Ever. And it doesn’t end. They just keep on pooping explosively like that until you start feeding them cereal at about six months –then the explosions lessen, but the smell gets like regular poop. P.U. The early poops are funny every time though, especially when they start laughing hysterically when they let one go, or they startle themselves awake with a giant load.   

            Baby poop goes through a few stages:

            1: First poop is dark black or green – no smell

            2. Runny and seedy, green – it smells, but not as bad as regular poop

            3.Runny and seedy – yellow—it smells the same as the green color, but not as bad as regular big kid poop

            4. After you start feeding them baby cereal and baby food, it looks like regular brown poop, but softer. Like brown ice cream, or dark peanut butter, but it smells like regular poop. Yuck. Breathe through your mouth like when you had morning sickness. It helps.

Diaper Changing Tidbits

            If you’re not sure if there’s poop or not (sometimes you’ll swear there’s a load, but it’s just gas) peek in the leg opening of the diaper instead of taking off the whole thing. You’ll save yourself lots of changing time and money because you won’t waste diapers.

            Use A & D Ointment (zinc ointment doesn’t work) to help prevent diaper rash and change your baby as soon as she’s done pooping.  I swear by these two rules. None of my kids ever had a bad case of diaper rash because they were changed right after they pooped and the A&D Ointment works (although it does smell like old person, for sure)

            Use a wipe in all the nooks and fat crannies on the legs (and between the labia for girls and under the testicles and penis for boys). And check up the back as well. You can’t believe where that poop ends up.

          Also, NEVER walk away from that baby on a couch or bed while changing them (or leave them in their car seat on top of anything. Even if they can’t roll yet, they know how to scoot and lean. I have a horror story about a person I knew from high school who left his sleeping six month old baby buckled in the car seat on top of the work bench in the garage while he worked a few feet away. The baby woke up and leaned forward, the carseat landed on the cement floor, and the baby died from head injuries. Sad, but true.). I always used a towel or baby blanket on the floor (make sure it’s a big towel… I learned the hard way by wrecking my mother-in-law’s brand new carpet that baby poop squirts far and does not come out. Even if it’s Stainmaster carpet.). It may be hard for you to get up and down from the floor, but it's (usually) always a safe place to change that baby.