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I was searching through some "Weird News" archives because I have to get my entertainment from the stupidity that goes on around the world. I have to, I don't really watch tv.
Oh, I did encounter some stupidity today, in person!
(I will get back to that weird news thing after I tell you this story)
I was at the grocery store and Austin calls me
"Mom, can you grab me a Slim Jim?"
That's fine, except I couldn't find the stupid Slim Jim's. So I asked a cashier, she told me (and she was wrong-but close enough). I grabbed a few more things I needed and got in line. Her line.
She scanned the damn Slim Jim and while holding it IN HER HAND she asks me if I found them.
I think I got that stare I get when I'm wondering if we all came from the same planet, or if there are others.
Because she's a special kind of stupid.
And she wasn't kidding.
She needs to change her diet or something because she's ingesting too much stupid.
So back to the weird news. I found this article.
A News of the Weird Classic (June 1995)
I really wish that would've worked out for him because it'd make me laugh FOR DAYS if it did.
I wonder if he'd have to get himself drunk so his drunken self could testify on his own behalf?
And of course there is this story:
Crisis Intervention: A certain bridge in Ghangzhou, China, has become popular for suicide (12 attempts in a 45-day period in April and May), and with each incident, traffic is slowed or halted for hours while crews attempt to talk the distraught person down or perform rescues. Mr. "Chen" was on the ledge in May, according to an Agence France-Presse dispatch, but he couldn't make up his mind about jumping. One frustrated motorist, Lai Jiansheng, ended the suspense by walking up to Chen and pushing him off. Chen survived, and Lai was arrested. [Agence France-Presse, 5-23-09]
I think Lai should work for Nike. Just do it.
And I think I'll share one more with you.
Robert Caton, 50, was arrested in Andover, England, in May after he drove his Rolls-Royce through the front window of a Tesco store. His wife said he had been upset to find out that the bed they had ordered did not come with a mattress. [Daily Telegraph, 5-21-09]
I for one think the man should've thought it through a little more.
Ya know, sleep on it.
I have discovered evidence of a new planet.
I'm naming it Lostopia.
It's where all those things go that you knew you had, but have'nt seen for a while and never find out what happened to them.
I'm not talking about the missing socks, I know where they go.
It's the other stuff.
It's all those things that you say "I wonder what ever happened to...." about.
It's called Lostopia because they will be lost to you forever, and they are very happy to be there. They are not coming back. Not ever.
You know that red crap that roosters have on their heads/throats? They're called their "comb and wattles".
I'm so glad I'm not a rooster.
I'd be the first one to cut that crap off. Who'd want that?
I know I cock-a-doodle-don't.
Ok peanut butter cups, I'm getting tired.
Have a sneaking out as a teen and not getting caught kinda night.
