Was it all just a dream..? Did I dream us together or was it a glimpse of the future? Looking in the mirror I see myself washing my sorrows away by keeping myself busy and casting aside my emotions. It seemed so real that my heart is racing every time i wake up to it or when the image appears in my mind.
It’s been almost two years since we last saw each other. Our closeness withers away as each day passes by. Do you remember? Do you remember that day? That dark and cold day where side by side we shared an umbrella under the cold pouring rain where you let half of yourself get wet so that I’d be able to stay dry. The way you walked sideways home so that I would never notice? It was a cold yet very warm day.
You taught me a lot of things, I who always remained silent, unsociable and unapproachable. Your kind atmosphere opened a door to my withering heart. I felt the warmth my heart had been longing for. I thought I had been saved from something I didn’t want. I thought this warmth that I called friendship would last forever.
Thus the day of the school trip arrived. Three days in the south, I decided to come along after a long time of having no interest in these sort of things. The bus enters a long dark tunnel and for some reason, being unable to see the happy and excited faces of the people around me, i felt at ease because you were right beside me.The bus then exited the long tunnel and a beautiful sunset came to view, as I looked into it I swear I heard you say something, I looked at you but saw you looking at the sunset. It must have been my imagination I said to myself as looked back at the beautiful sun setting in front of the waters.
We arrived a little after dark and were separated into different rooms. I decided to look around and found you sitting in front of a piano, looking somewhat puzzled. You've always had an interest in instruments although you never played any. As i came back to reality without noticing, you were already in front of me, looking closely into my face saying suddenly, “was that a smile?” never realizing I had a small grin on my face, I looked away and sat in front of the piano. Wanting to ease my mind, I played. It had been ages since I tried. A nostalgic tune filled my mind as I started playing; this was always a nice way of feeling at peace.
I opened my eyes to realize that a lot of people were already watching, I who was never good with people nervously looked down as the people applauded and stared. I was surprised when you suddenly held my hand and pulled me away from the crowd. Looking into my eyes you said “thank you, it was splendid!” To me, such words have been forgotten. I would have never thought something as little as that could be worth any sort of gratitude.
The second night we were looking above the stars. You called me from afar and said you wanted to talk. The starry sky was beautiful as millions seemed to have been visible. I followed you looking at your back from an uphill path, watching you walk from behind under the moonlit sky as the cold breeze touches my skin.
You always did love stars I said to myself as you looked back from the top and said in a loud but gentle voice while pointing towards the heavens,
“With all these Stars as proof and witnesses… I confess my love for you!”
My heart skipped a beat and didn’t know what to say as I remained silent. I looked above and saw the beautiful stars gazing down upon the two of us. We lay down silently looking at the stars. I wanted this Moment to last forever, but i wasn't sure of how i should say it. I was confused, full of doubt, too afraid of getting hurt. I looked upon the beautiful stars with these thoughts in my mind. He then stood up and told me to wait for a while because he went back to get something from the inn.
I've had a bad feeling since this afternoon so I decided to go after you. I somehow made it to the back entrance as I heard people’s voices. I rushed inside and found out that the place was on fire. I went to their room and found no traces of people. The inn started to get really hot as the fire spread quickly. We saw each other at the corridor that was separated by large burning debris. You looked into my eyes as if saying a silent goodbye, you didn't speak a word yet i felt, as you looked at me, the strength of your love.
Wanting to scream and shout my feelings, I could only open my mouth yet no words would come out, i didn't want to part like this. I at least wanted to convey how i felt... and in all the words i wanted to say only
"..Im.. Sorry.." Came out.
I didn’t want to leave without you but people were pulling me towards the exit. No matter how much struggled all that I can see was you smiling at me behind that fiery wall. i was pulled away as your face got blurred away by these unwanted tear, tears of helplessness and regret, I should have told you how i felt up at that hill, I should have held you tight, i should have let you felt the warmth that you have let me feel. I dwell in regret as tears drowned me to sleep.
I went back to that place the next day. They said they found a burned body that had been protecting something. It was a bag that belonged to me. Tears rolled down my eyes as I remembered that sunset, I now realize what you told me…
“Till all the stars disappear, I’ll always love you…”
The glass star you cherished so much, you had split it in two and put the other half in my bag on that sunset. I was so stupid not to have realized it at all.
They gave me the other half soon after, it was held tightly between your two hands.
"I should have noticed it sooner. I should have tried to better understand what you said the sunset before we got here. I should have told you to stay with me that night" these kinds of thoughts fill my mind as tears fall down on the other half of the glass star.
I close my eyes and grasp what you had treasured the most and say to myself, "They should have let me come with you..."
"To the stars….."