FINALISTS ANNOUNCED! Congrats to all 2011 Contest Participants. MOBILE SITE: m.textnovel.com FORUM: textnovel.com/forum BLOG: www.textnovelblog.com
2580
Views
Views
22 Votes 
Chapter 1:- Cow tipping cowboys and coiffures
Have you read the first Myrtle Murphy short story?
A Grave Error (Myrtle Murphy Mystery #1)
Myrtle Murphy had everything she wanted out of life―except her damned mother-in-law was still breathing. And that wasn’t part of the plan. The bitch should have keeled over after drinking the three cups of tea laced with arsenic. Instead, she was passed out on the couch―snoring, of all things. And alive.
Myrtle scowled. The nerve of her!
The white-haired woman in her antiquated cats-eye glasses no longer looked like she had stepped out of Vogue. More like a commercial for Wrinkle-Away. Her face sagged, each crevice threatening to suck in both the foundation and blush she had caked on that morning. Her mouth was parted slightly, and every now and then she choked on a snore, her body jerking from lack of oxygen.
Myrtle shook her head in frustration. “Mother Murphy, what am I going to do with you?”
The woman had come looking for her son, but Myrtle had laid him to rest two months earlier. Permanently. Norman was buried in the woods, fertilizer for the voracious plants around him. He’d always said he had a green thumb.
“He hasn’t called me in weeks,” Mother Murphy had said when she had arrived hours ago. “That’s not like him.”
Myrtle had lied, told her mother-in-law that Norman had gone camping with his friends―the “boys”. When Mother Murphy mentioned that she had changed her will and made Norman her beneficiary since her mangy Siamese cat Wadsworth had died, Myrtle’s mind started churning. And when the witch of a woman started in on her, calling her “common”, Myrtle knew there was only one thing to do.
“How about I make you a nice cup of tea?” she had suggested.
Her mother-in-law had peered over her glasses as if Myrtle were a bug that needed to be squashed with her Gucci heel. Then she lifted her imperious chins and settled onto the sofa.
“Make it extra sweet,” she commanded.
* * * * *
“Three cups,” Myrtle muttered. “With enough of my secret ingredient to put down a cow.”
She scowled at the woman. Then on impulse, she reached over and pulled the bobby pins from the woman’s salon hairdo. For good measure, she mussed it up with both hands.
Myrtle stood back to admire her handiwork.
“There. You look lovely, dahling.”
She had a good mind to get a tube of red lipstick and pull a Bette Davis.
Mommy Dearest.
“Now, what the hell am I going to do with you?”
She glanced at her watch. It was getting late.
The phone rang.
“Myrt, it’s Harry. Is Norm back from his trip yet?”
It came out like: Myrt, is Sarry. Snorm back from strip yet?
Harry was one of the boys, and Norman’s best friend. They had played football in college together. Harry called every week, usually drunk and slurring his words. Tonight was no different.
“You there, Myrtie?” he slurred. “Thought ya said he’s coming back this week.”
“He had to go visit his mother,” Myrtle snapped. “She’s sick.”
She stared at the woman lying unconscious on the couch.
“Maybe dying even,” she added, smiling.
“Well,” Harry drawled as if it were a two-syllable word, “us boys are going to the old Morris farm and we wanted Norm to come with us.”
“It’s almost midnight, for God’s sake,” Myrtle snapped. “What the hell are you going to do out there at this time of night?”
“We’s goin’ cow tippin’” she heard Frank Burgess yell. Frank was Harry’s twin brother and just as irritating.
Cow tipping?
Myrtle rolled her eyes and stared at the phone in her hand. Norm’s friends were a waste of―
She glanced at the old woman lying on the couch and a smile crept across her face...
* * *
Note from Cheryl:
I apologize for deleting the rest of this story but I am preparing it for publication.
THE DEATH OF AN OLD COW will be available in early August as one of 13 short stories in my new collection titled SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET & OTHER CREEPY STORIES. It will be available as an ebook on Kindle, Smashwords, KoboBooks, iPad and more.
Check out the creepy cover at http://www.cherylktardif.com/skeletons-in-the-closet
Thank you to all my readers here on Textnovel. I appreciate every one of you.
Cheryl Kaye Tardif, bestselling author
http://www.cherylktardif.com
http://www.cherylktardif.blogspot.com
Have you read the first Myrtle Murphy short story?
A Grave Error (Myrtle Murphy Mystery #1)
Myrtle Murphy had everything she wanted out of life―except her damned mother-in-law was still breathing. And that wasn’t part of the plan. The bitch should have keeled over after drinking the three cups of tea laced with arsenic. Instead, she was passed out on the couch―snoring, of all things. And alive.
Myrtle scowled. The nerve of her!
The white-haired woman in her antiquated cats-eye glasses no longer looked like she had stepped out of Vogue. More like a commercial for Wrinkle-Away. Her face sagged, each crevice threatening to suck in both the foundation and blush she had caked on that morning. Her mouth was parted slightly, and every now and then she choked on a snore, her body jerking from lack of oxygen.
Myrtle shook her head in frustration. “Mother Murphy, what am I going to do with you?”
The woman had come looking for her son, but Myrtle had laid him to rest two months earlier. Permanently. Norman was buried in the woods, fertilizer for the voracious plants around him. He’d always said he had a green thumb.
“He hasn’t called me in weeks,” Mother Murphy had said when she had arrived hours ago. “That’s not like him.”
Myrtle had lied, told her mother-in-law that Norman had gone camping with his friends―the “boys”. When Mother Murphy mentioned that she had changed her will and made Norman her beneficiary since her mangy Siamese cat Wadsworth had died, Myrtle’s mind started churning. And when the witch of a woman started in on her, calling her “common”, Myrtle knew there was only one thing to do.
“How about I make you a nice cup of tea?” she had suggested.
Her mother-in-law had peered over her glasses as if Myrtle were a bug that needed to be squashed with her Gucci heel. Then she lifted her imperious chins and settled onto the sofa.
“Make it extra sweet,” she commanded.
* * * * *
“Three cups,” Myrtle muttered. “With enough of my secret ingredient to put down a cow.”
She scowled at the woman. Then on impulse, she reached over and pulled the bobby pins from the woman’s salon hairdo. For good measure, she mussed it up with both hands.
Myrtle stood back to admire her handiwork.
“There. You look lovely, dahling.”
She had a good mind to get a tube of red lipstick and pull a Bette Davis.
Mommy Dearest.
“Now, what the hell am I going to do with you?”
She glanced at her watch. It was getting late.
The phone rang.
“Myrt, it’s Harry. Is Norm back from his trip yet?”
It came out like: Myrt, is Sarry. Snorm back from strip yet?
Harry was one of the boys, and Norman’s best friend. They had played football in college together. Harry called every week, usually drunk and slurring his words. Tonight was no different.
“You there, Myrtie?” he slurred. “Thought ya said he’s coming back this week.”
“He had to go visit his mother,” Myrtle snapped. “She’s sick.”
She stared at the woman lying unconscious on the couch.
“Maybe dying even,” she added, smiling.
“Well,” Harry drawled as if it were a two-syllable word, “us boys are going to the old Morris farm and we wanted Norm to come with us.”
“It’s almost midnight, for God’s sake,” Myrtle snapped. “What the hell are you going to do out there at this time of night?”
“We’s goin’ cow tippin’” she heard Frank Burgess yell. Frank was Harry’s twin brother and just as irritating.
Cow tipping?
Myrtle rolled her eyes and stared at the phone in her hand. Norm’s friends were a waste of―
She glanced at the old woman lying on the couch and a smile crept across her face...
* * *
Note from Cheryl:
I apologize for deleting the rest of this story but I am preparing it for publication.
THE DEATH OF AN OLD COW will be available in early August as one of 13 short stories in my new collection titled SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET & OTHER CREEPY STORIES. It will be available as an ebook on Kindle, Smashwords, KoboBooks, iPad and more.
Check out the creepy cover at http://www.cherylktardif.com/skeletons-in-the-closet
Thank you to all my readers here on Textnovel. I appreciate every one of you.
Cheryl Kaye Tardif, bestselling author
http://www.cherylktardif.com
http://www.cherylktardif.blogspot.com
