Racing up the stairs I flung open my bedroom door. Slamming it behind me I threw myself onto the bed. The emotions I’d been holding back were now a violent flow of tears washing over my face. I wondered why doing the right thing felt so wrong. Emma entered my room, lying down next to me on my bed. She stroked my hair, trying to comfort me.

     “You’ll be alright,” she said with an encouraging tone.

     I cried even harder. If being with Damien Mann appeared unreasonable, being without him seemed impossible. Misery filled my heart overflowing it with despair. Thoughts of hopelessness crushed against my chest, making it hard to breathe. Emma snuggled closer to me and eventually we both fell asleep.

      I dreamed of him that night. My visions of him were always the same. Reaching out he’d take my hand, drawing me near to him. No words were ever spoken between us. His eyes communicated silently to me, and his lips expressed their passion.  I longed  to be with him in my dreams at night…

     Several weeks had passed since the incident at Bellamy’s. Lizzie hadn’t so much as fluffed her wings around me and it was probably for the best. I began settling back into my empty life, empty because Damien wasn’t a part of it. I missed him terribly, my heart vacant without him.

     As I made my way to AP Biology I spotted him in the corridor. He was standing outside the classroom, his back against the wall. Cherrie was knotted in his arms kissing him. Watching them together hurt so immensely, I didn’t want to breathe. That’s about the time I bumped into Lila spilling the contents of my arms onto the floor.

     “Watch where you’re going, “she said, continuing down the hall.

     I mumbled incoherently that I was sorry and knelt down to collect my books. Surprisingly, Damien reached down grabbing the last one. Without a sound he handed it to me and made his way inside. The silence between us was awkward and had been for weeks. His eyes followed me as I made my way into the room and took my seat. I glanced at him briefly before looking away. Mr. Mortimer began writing the lesson plan on the board. I took out my binder, copying the assignment.

      My eyes lifted, meeting Damien’s gaze. I could feel my stomach churning with anxiety as he quickly turned away. Within minutes the girl who sat in front of me, passed me a crumpled up note. She dropped it on my desk and motioned toward Damien with her eyes. I looked up at him and he gestured for me to write him back. Un-crumpling the paper I read the only word inside.  I'M SORRY…

    My heart raced frantically as I scribbled my reply. You haven’t bothered with me in weeks. Sorry, but I’m good! Folding the paper I passed it back.

     Damien studied my words and then looked back at me annoyed. Swiftly, he responded to my unkind observation and immediately the note made its way back to me. I surveyed the room before opening it. I’m playing at Bellamy’s. I want you there.

     I ripped the paper in half while glaring spitefully at him. Furrowing his brow he cast his eyes away. I could tell he was annoyed and it made me feel uncomfortable. Eventually, the bell rang. He bolted from his seat and out the door. I lingered behind hoping to avoid him. By the time I made my way into the hallway just about everyone was gone. Rounding the corner I was startled when he unexpectedly pulled me under the stairwell. Trapping me between his arms, my back pushed up against the wall. The sound of footsteps hammering over head filled my ears. Adrenaline pulsated through me, swelling my emotions. I tried to be strong. Standing close to him made me lose sight of my good intentions and I could only think of kissing him. His eyes searched mine, like in my dreams at night. But unlike my imaginings, he broke the silence.

     “Why are you being a bitch?”

     Without words I stood staring into his powerful eyes.

     “I haven’t bothered with you because I thought it was best for both of us. I thought it was what you wanted…” he said.

      Shifting my eyes downward I looked at the floor.

     “You’re my best friend. I want you there.”

      “Your best friend… is dead!”

      Damien glared at me. His demeanor darkening, he stiffenined his jaw. I stood motionless, blankly staring. Dropping his arms to his side, he no longer ensnared me. I didn’t move. His eyes remained focused on me. Without warning his fist crashed against the wall directly near my head. “Have it your way,” he breathed, inches from my face. I tried not to flinch, fighting the urge to kiss him. Although, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could resist.