Thank you guys for the comments/suggestions. But I don't know...for some reason there's this little voice in my head telling me to change the title...hmm. Haha ; ).
By:Lolaon
Tue, 22 February 2011 12:46:29
Nice opening and interesting characters!
But please change the title! ^__^.
By:nadonadoon
Sat, 05 February 2011 07:03:48
wow! this is really good! keep up the great work.
By:Amelia Gems on
Wed, 02 February 2011 17:43:17
AMAZING. I love your writing style. Please. Please. Please. Change the title to something more appropriate. This is good. Every page keeps the reader hooked. Not quite sure what it is, because the storyline itself at the moment isn't that interesting of course, (there aren't enough chapters to judge that) but I think it's that your writing style, character/narrative voice is very entrancing. The character's are so alive and lovable. The diction you choose is also very accurate and precise, conveying exactly what fits the scene, what the reader should feel. All in all, I like it. As well, welcome to the cell phone novel movement. Keep in touch because there are alot of things in store for us this year and towards the future. I will be trying to organize all of us talented cellphone novelists and it can change the publishing industry I believe. Feel free to contact me, I'll keep you posted as well. Most importantly, keep writing!
-Takatsu
Author of Secondhand Memories.
By:takatsuon
Mon, 31 January 2011 18:28:58
I feel the title doesn't quite fit the story, LOL...this is really good..
By:S. M. Wagoneron
Wed, 26 January 2011 12:21:03
Why would you think this sucks! I am super behind on wirting so I will come back soon to read the rest..
By:S.N. Parishon
Fri, 14 January 2011 19:58:07
Exactly one year ago, I took on the task of completing my first novel. Those who can relate, know the first noveling experience is filled with excitment, late-night writing binges, and deceitful lies you tell yourself like you have written the worlds next best-seller. After receiving enough form rejection letters, and beating myself up for not recognizing how "sucky" my novel was, I decided to take my novel out of the dark shadows of "suckiness" and unveil it to the world but attempt to rewrite it and redeem my writing cred in the process. So all those fellow novelists and brave readers that can sense my literary pain you can honestly say: True, this novel sucks but...
Chapter 1:- 25 Up
The night is bitter and so am I. It's nine weeks into the football season, my shift was over fifteen minutes ago, yet I'm stuck here in an empty motel parking lot battin' bees with a near bristless broom. Where is she?