This chapter is very good - it is almost generic and can fit into any story...Bit maybe "intuitive arguments are not just spiral - they would be either outward or inward spiraling. In the first instance they lead to nowhere and get lost in the universe, in the second instance they may come to a pretty firm conclusion. Check out Fibbonaci = the Italian fellow who has to say much about the spiraling laws of nature..
By:  handsbare  on  Sun, 10 January 2010 12:21:02

Very creative. Grabs the reader right from the start. Hope you'll check out 'The Plan'. Keep going, I'll be back..
By:  Lillian Watts  on  Sat, 09 January 2010 08:04:40

I enjoyed the chapters I've read, your imaginative and witty. Just up my alley : ).
By:  bohemiangeek  on  Sun, 20 December 2009 10:06:10

this reminds me of my stay in the Czech Republic - We used a mixture of English-German-Czech-French - only intelligible to a small group of people but it was fun and it saved us from looking up every word we didn't know in a dictionary. And even now I often use Denglish in my private life and sometimes Czenglish. Isa.
By:  Isa  on  Sat, 31 October 2009 12:03:43

Thanks ben, I love your story so far, too. It's a smooth read, captivating from the get go..
By:  Mary Dix  on  Sun, 25 October 2009 04:29:11

i like what you have done so far it's really interesting.
By:  ben brown  on  Sat, 24 October 2009 01:59:02

Dear Wayne, I like your idea, especially the playing around with sequence. Will give it more thought for the rewrite. Thanks!.
By:  Mary Dix  on  Thu, 22 October 2009 06:09:19

I am not an expert on this. But, I loved this line in your last chapter. "Fanny smiled. It worked! Feeling bolder and quite pleased with herself, she patted Max’s back as she would a small child’s. The warmth of Fanny’s breath on his neck, her fingers smoothing over his hair, the sweet home scent of her brought Max back from the lonely, forlorn place. The bite of pain and despair seeped away." -- Now, this is only a thought I had: If you were start your novel with that line, or any other of your great lines in the book, ( then, you could follow with your present opening lines of introduction.) it would hook me into seeing how we could get there by reading what lead up to it. -- just an idea you might play around with. -- PS: I appreciated your suggestions in my novel "The Ancestors of God" - faith in technology. (((Mary Dix))) .
By:  Wayne Thornton  on  Sun, 18 October 2009 14:39:28

Thanks Isa and Jennifer! Your comments keep me trekking onwards. Best wishes. MD.
By:  Mary Dix  on  Sun, 27 September 2009 05:54:38

I love this, a real quality sci-fi read. "You know your stuff!" Says the rabid trekkie who grew up watching The Next Generation..
By:  Jennifer L Hart  on  Thu, 24 September 2009 09:08:30

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