Chapter 1:- And so it begins
it was a usual rainy day in florida. I was at my aunt judy and uncle mikes house. I dont recall ever particularly liking either of them too much. I want to say that my fat cousin amanda was there too, but remembering all of this years later i cant be entirely sure. I was with my brother. He was playing with all the matchbox cars that my uncle kept there for him to play with. I had just started watching a new kids on the block video tape that my cousin melissa had. It was only a few minutes into the video when my mom came home. All the random family members i cant remember all gathered with her in the front area of the house. They spent quite a few minutes there. Then my mom called me and my brother into melissas bedroom. I remember being upset about not being able to watch the rest of the video. I was obsessed with the new kids on the block as most 11 year old girls were. We sat on the bed facing a huge kirk cameron poster and a giant stuffed helium balloon toy that had stuffed bears filling the basket part. Then she said the words. 'Deeds gone.' Deed was what we called my dad. I think it came from my inability as a young child to say daddy. I always said dee-daw...which eventually got shortened to deed and got picked up by the rest of the family....which was only my brother, my sister, my mom and I. Me and anthony looked at each other and started laughing. To this day i cant tell you why. My mom thought we didnt understand that our father had just died. I think we did. But i dont think we actually understood the finality of it. We had pets die and grandparents. So we knew what death meant....just maybe not the concept of growing up fatherless. My mom asked if we had any questions and we just sat there and smiled and laughed...like it was all a big joke.